[Transcript starts at 0:40]
Hello, hello, hello. My podcast people and thank you for joining me for yet a another episode of my favorite online business podcast. If you are listening, tuning in or watching on the day that it drops, it is Monday, November 3rd. Welcome to November. If you live in California, get your booty to the ballot box and vote yes on 50.
It's the least we can do. It's the least we can do, right? I have thoughts. It's the least we can do. Fuck Trump. Fuck this whole administration. Fuck all of it. Every day. Some new fucking bullshit. But it's something. So the episode, what we're talking about today, today we are talking about, and I'm asking the question, who are you attracting?
Yes, we are discussing it specifically as it relates to online business, but, uh, because this is online business podcast, but the premises holds true for all things, right? Because it's all the same. Attracting people in your day-to-day life, attracting people in business, building and maintaining relationships in your day-to-day life, and building and maintaining relationships.
In your business, it is all the same, right? The hardest, the most difficult thing, and the most important thing in business is attracting and retaining customers. I know folks like to have like the binary and be like, which one is it? Is it attracting or is it retaining, you know, attract? Is it acquisition or retention?
I wanna put 'em both together, right? Because you can't, you, you need both. And that is the most, that's the most difficult thing to do, uh, is, is this piece here, is getting the customer. Right. That is the most, the most difficult. It's why accounts that are on Instagram that talk about, you know, growing your following, have so many fucking followers.
Because people are like, this is hard. I want, I want, someone's gonna promise me that they can help me do this. Right? It's, it's why there's a demand for those, you know, Grammy marketers that promise I got something in my eye. If you're watching, I got something in my eye. Uh, there's why there's a demand for those grimy marketers who say they can get you leads, right?
It's demand. It's, it's why that, that, uh, almost a demographic, but that position. Even exists in the first place. Right? It's so, it's why so many of the big companies, big corporations that we see today that are finally turning a profit, if they are spend so much of, or they spent so much of their early years, you know, being subsidized and so many of those early years in the black.
Right, because attracting customers is fucking difficult. What I wanna focus on today is, is this concept of attracting. And I, and I intentionally use that word because that's what it is. You're not finding clients. In my opinion, your best bet is to attract them all right? And when we look at this and look to assess the things we can look, we can look at it from two different angles, who you're attracting and who you want to attract.
If you're listening to this and you already have clients, then you are more in that first camp, right? Who you're attracting. That's what we're gonna be looking at. If you're just starting out, or if you're not just starting out, but you're wanting more clients, then the focus would be more kinda on the second part of that, which is.
Who you want to attract, right? But still the most important thing is understanding this concept of attraction. Um, obviously if you currently have clients and you enjoy the clients you're attracting and you're continuing to attract clients, change nothing. Right. Keep on keeping on. But if you're a bit of a scab picker, uh, and you can't just leave well enough alone, or if you wanna paint a more positive picture and, and just call you a curious Kathy, then you can look at what you've been doing, dissect it, analyze it, and then choose to intentionally do more of those things, right?
The main thing that I want to convey in this episode is how to attract people who want to take action. Like that is, put that in your brain, just like, you know, park it there. That is the whole purpose of this is how to attract people who want to take action. Uh, but I'll say I'm framing it in terms of who you're already attracting and the energy that you're putting out and what you're, how you're showing up, and what you're doing.
Because I know we're starting, right? But the goal, in my opinion, is to attract people who want to take action. Why? Because at the end of the day, it's the people who actually take action. And want to take action, that will be the ones who will take the action of signing up to work with you. Right. See how that works out.
So to me, the simplest way to approach this whole thing, uh, is as a quote, is to use a quote. We'll say that an old friend of mine, Dr. Sarah suds, she told me way back in like 2016 when we met. When I met her in person for the first time, uh, she said, we attract what we are, not what we want. And that shit that she said it one time and literally, I have used that line and shared that line, and creditor credited her every time.
But I probably used it about 11 billion times, right? It's never let me down. It's never failed me. All right. I've talked about radical responsibility. Before on this episode, on, well in, on this podcast. Um, but the first episode that I did was actually solely about that was episode 2 0 5. That's from April 23rd, 2020.
Five plus years ago, uh, we will link that. Thank you, Courtney. Um, but to me this idea, this concept of radical responsibility is hugely empowering and inherently creates these action items, right? And, and it ties into what Sarah says because I can summarize it as what did I do that caused or contributed to this?
Who am I. How am I showing up that caused or contributed to this? Now, this is not like a victim blaming thing. I feel like this can be like a fine line and people that have like, you know, like to think about a million fucking things and be like, but what about not victim blaming? So if your brain, if your brain goes there, what, what, what did I do?
If you're talking about bad situations and bad things that happen to people, then no. Right. Fuck that person who did the bad thing. What I'm talking about here is an online business. When we're looking at customers that we attract, it is hugely empowering to say, oh. What did I do to attract this person?
Alright, so if we have customers that we like and you wanna assess possible action items that attracted them, look in the mirror. Great thing, what did I do? Why is this person here? If we have customers that we don't really like, customers that aren't really a good fit, and you wanna assess possible action items that attracted them so that you don't get more of them, look in the mirror.
Empowering things you can actually control, right? I hear folks who love to just put free shit out there, but not free content, right? But they're just constantly running freebies and then trying to sell people from them. There's nothing wrong with that, but if that's the main thing that you do all the time, then same breath.
They'll just be like, people love people. Only want freebies. People only want free shit. And I'm like, well. Maybe, but also you've trained your people to expect free shit, and your business preferences have attracted people who want free shit. So you know, there's something that to be said there. You cannot change other people's behaviors, but you can change who you attract.
You can change your own behaviors and subsequently who you attract if you use tons of urgency tactics. Especially manufactured in in false urgency, false scarcity. Don't be surprised when you attract clients who have insane amounts of urgency and want their shit fixed yesterday. If you constantly discount your shit and you lean on price changes and price decreases as the primary way to to drive sales, don't be surprised when you attract folks who are price sensitive.
I if all you post are before and after pictures or hacks or any kind of content that doesn't, you know, it doesn't highlight the process or skips the processes. Really just highlights the beginning and the end. Don't be surprised when you attract people who want to skip the work and they wanna skip the process.
You really are in charge here. And that to me is so empowering. We attract what we are. We attract what we are doing. Yes, every now and then someone slips through the cracks. That's a mismatch. Despite, you know, you really showing up with a ton of transparency and congruency and leading with your values and.
In my opinion, in my experience, it's more of a product of the aspirational nature of things. The aspirational quality of things with people aspiring to be like you as opposed to already being like you. So, and or, or already having, you know, a lot more of those shared values. So it can happen, but uh, it will happen way less if you're leading with these things, with the transparency, uh, with, you know, the congruency, with the leading your values, all those things.
So Jill talks about. This, this concept all the time and, and the amount of personal growth that is required to become an online business owner and the amount of personal growth that happens as you become and work your way through becoming an online business owner. Uh, and I think that we can put this transformation, uh, in Instagram terms, not that I love them, but they hold true, which is that if you want followers, be a leader.
This transformation that Jill's talking about, this becoming the person that is capable of leading this is teaching from the scar, not from the wound. AKA deal with your shit first. Go to therapy. Become that person, then we can step into that leadership role. Right now, part of the reason that necessarily, or just, you know, a few seconds ago that I don't love these terms of, of follower and leader.
Uh, is this mainly 'cause this idea of follower? I love the idea of leader, but I don't want this idea of a follower as, as it relates to Instagram because it kind of feels like that person lacks agency. They lack free will. They, they lack independent thinking. We know, we know that that's not the case.
Right. The other reason that I don't love using Instagram terms because it was because I don't like implying that if you are, you know. A lead that if you are a leader, you'll automatically attract followers. Like it doesn't work that way, especially in the Instagram world, that Instagram is such a game of luck and timing.
Um, you know, you could very much be doing the right things, quote unquote right things and not win the game. So like, I just, I don't love bringing those terms out, but like they do also hold true at the heart of what I'm saying. This idea though, and circling back to this leadership, is this idea that people wanna buy from someone who they trust to lead them, right?
They wanna buy from someone who they trust to lead them and to get them the outcome that they desire. Someone who they believe can get them that outcome. The question for you is, are you showing up as that person? Are you that person? That should be the first thing. Are you that person? And then are you showing up as that person?
No. This is not a suggestion to go and sit and think solely about what people will view as a leader and then just do those things. Right. I feel it feels like pandering and it does not feel like something a leader would do. Right. This is a suggestion to sit and think about the traits and the characteristics and the actions that you believe a leader possesses.
And then ask yourself if you have them and if you're showing up that way. Right. I hesitate to list out suggestions here of, of traits, because I don't wanna bias you with my beliefs and my views, my values around this. Right? This needs to be your version of a leader. I will, however, hit you with. Two pieces to the puzzle, namely because I think they're universal.
Um, and I also talk about them all the time. So you've already been biased. Uh, number one is competency. Uh, you gotta know your shit. I just did an episode literally two weeks ago. Do you know your shit? You have to know your shit. You gotta be 50 11 steps ahead of your person. You gotta be proficient. You gotta be skilled at what you do.
And yes, this absolutely comes with time and with reps, right? A hundred percent. The action item here. Is demonstrating to that perspective client that you have this competency by giving them as many ways as possible to binge your brain. Social media, blogs, posts, email lists, podcasts, YouTube channel, you know, you name it, right?
And in those things, we're looking to give solutions, not just relatability stories, right? We want, as it relates to like a response from this, from the audience. We want people saying, thank you. This was so helpful, right? I'm gonna try this. Not so many of the Me too. Me too, me too, right? Looking to be ahead of this person.
I personally am not hiring someone who is going through the same shit as me. Like that's cool that you're there too. I feel that's alone, but I wanna hire the person that's gonna move me through it, move me forward, solve my problem, help me solve my problem, right? So that first piece of the puzzle as it relates to leadership competency, the second piece of the puzzle.
Congruency. This is where your actions match your message, which match your goals, right? And vice versa. Very simple example, if your message is to lift heavy weights regularly, your actions better be lifting heavy weights regularly. I, I see you doing it right? I personally, I can expect consistency and speak about consistency and champion consistency because I'm consistent, right?
That is like, if I have nothing else, I'm consistent. I do this podcast every week. I'd be writing multiple emails every week, social media, not as much. Not as much as I was at all. And that's there's a reason I'm stopping the intensive. Right. I don't like being as, as much on social media. Right. And when I do speak to them, I talk about what I would do and what I did do in the past, but I'm very transparent.
I'm like, I'm not doing that anymore. Right. The goals piece. 'cause like I said, the congruency piece is the message, the action and the goals. The goals piece comes in here because it's whack as fuck to have C minus actions. But an A plus goal no while preaching messaging that people need to have a plus actions immediately.
No, you already know as I'm saying that y'all listening are like immediately know it's fucking terrible. You know why? I know you're saying that because you're my people. Seth Godin talks about this. People like us do things like this. And why does that happen? Because you lead with your values. You keep showing up, and you attract what you are.
And I know that all of you listening, we have a lot of overlapping values. So as I'm saying that in congruent peace there, you're like, Ugh, that feels bad in my body. I know. Me too. I. Additionally, as it relates to congruency and that attraction piece, your actions and your message dictate that attraction, and if either your messaging or your actions speak to C minus behaviors, C minus meaning those things are not gonna get you the goal that you say you want.
I, if you're messaging or if your behaviors speak to C minus behaviors, you are going to attract C minus clients. I, I am not saying these people are not worthwhile or worthy. I feel like the need to like put the fucking caveat in there. Y'all know what I'm fucking saying. All right. You know what I'm saying?
I walk the talk, the message, the actions. And the goals, they gotta be congruent. They gotta be aligned. If they are not, that will reflect in the people that you attract. I so all of this to say, I believe we have tremendous control over the type of clients that we attract. If you are not happy with the quality of your clients, take radical responsibility and start by looking at your own actions.
If you are happy with the quality but not the quantity, again, start by taking radical responsibility and looking at your own actions. And this doesn't mean like just shit all over yourself, like that goes without saying. But I, circling back to the beginning of the podcast, I said, the one thing I put in your brain, remember it is the actions required to attract folks who wanna take action.
That's what I really want you to be looking at. Right? If you're like, Hey, I really like the people that I get, but I'd like to get more of them. All right, cool. Are we doing the things that attract, that would attract, will attract action takers? Um, if you are happy with the quality and the quantity of your clients, cheers to you and thank you for listening to.
Episode, I will put one little caveat in and I, I feel like the need to say this in every episode, we always have to also be realistic with the demand, right? You can be, this is, I, I kind of said it earlier, but I just wanna kinda make sure I circle back to it, just 'cause it's very real and I see it. 'cause I'm in this world.
If you don't have a lot of demand for what you do or if you're in a very difficult niche. Understand that as well. So manage your expectations around that. Yes. Look to go and assess your own actions and say, Hey, am I doing everything I can be doing to attract action takers and, you know, congruent action takers, people that I wanna be working with, and also how many people in are there for this thing that I do?
Right. Just always be putting that. Keeping that top of mind. Uh, okay. I'm looking at the time. Gonna wrap it up here. No, you know, real big life or business updates, uh, at the beginning of this episode because I wanted to jump right into it. So I'm gonna do one quick one here, which is at the time of recording this.
It's October 27th. I'll be heading to Hawaii, Lex, and I'll be heading to Hawaii on Wednesday, two days, uh, for Jill's wedding. Um, it will have passed by the time this episode drops, so I'll fill y'all in. On the next episode. Uh, but that is the life update, uh, for the episode. 'cause I'm, I'm excited, I'm excited to be taking the trip with Lex.
I don't really love Hawaii. I, I don't, it's fine. Um, but I'm excited to take the, to the trip with Lex. We're gonna go see Jurassic Park and I'm really excited to just go in and celebrate Jill. So, uh, sharing it here and I will recap that for you guys next week. Alright. Officially wrapping it up. There as always, endlessly, endlessly.
One more time, endlessly appreciative for every single one of you. Until next time, friends maestro out.
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MOTM #205: Taking Radical Responsibility
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