[Transcript starts at 1:09]
Hello, hello, hello, my podcast people and thank you for joining me for yet another episode of my favorite podcast. Today, we are breaking down three steps for a happier life. This episode drops on Thursday, December 7th. Welcome again to the first week of December. A little update before we hop on in. I and Lex, we dropped some moneys on a fake tree and new decorations, and so I will let you know how that goes. Y'all know, I record the episodes before they come out, obviously, so the tree has not arrived. As of the time this episode drops, it will have arrived, um, so maybe if you follow me on Instagram you'll see my stories and stuff.
But, we got a fake tree, uh, because… Lex is allergic to trees, I believe, and Rupert's dumb and he'll probably eat the trees. So he likes to eat the plants. Drives me crazy. So we got a fake tree and we'll see how it goes. I've never had a fake tree. I was kind of like vehemently opposed to fake trees. But um, it is what it is.
Ch ch ch changes. And so I'll update you on that. But today's episode, Three Steps for a Happier Life, is inspired by a little listening, light listening slash reading that I've been doing of Morgan Housel's new book, Same as Ever. It's also in part, uh, inspired by the, there's a part in the book where he speaks about envy and so I got my, I got the old wheel spinning and I was like, yeah.
And so I made it into a Thread post and, uh, also now we're going to dive in a little bit deeper within this episode. So if you want to check out that book. I do have an affiliate link. This is an Amazon affiliate link, but you can also just go and get it yourself. But if you want, and you're like, hey, I want to give you one penny, which I'm grateful for, you can use that link in the show notes.
Thank you, Courtney. Uh, so in the book, in the book, same as ever, Morgan shares a quote from Charlie Munger, and the quote says, “The world is not driven by greed, it's driven by envy.” And that, that shit really struck me, right? It really, really stuck with me. Because I was like, yeah, that actually makes more sense.
And it kind of introduces the whole interpersonal relationship, that we are social species. And that, to me, really, really just really makes sense. Like, maybe because it's easier for me to understand than just having like this, like, objective, or excuse me, this absolute need to have the most. I'm like that.
Yes. You could just have that. There's no, there's no way, way to dissect it or change that or go deeper with it. And I think it also kind of like, but what about other people? And how does that relate? Cause we are a social species and that quote, and this, like this discussion about envy instead of greed, I was like, yes, that makes sense, right?
I mean, even when we think about something like wealth, cause when we think about greed, oftentimes it's like in relation to money and wealth has a strong relativity component, right? 10 million. You think like, yeah, you'd be super happy with 10 million, but that's likely because of the situation you're in and also objectively, that's a lot of money.
But stay with me here. Bear with me. 10 million as a net worth for most places, pretty much everywhere in the whole wide world is a ton. But for people that are living in Silicon Valley, suddenly you become just another person there, right? These big, uh, you know, tech, tech guys. And that definitely influences things and impacts things and changes the desire for more. And it's not just greed, it's envy, right? It's comparison. In my own life, I'm looking at, uh, rent, right? So Lex and I pay 6, 300. Give yourself a moment. If you fell out of your car, you felt you crashed your car just now hearing that, whatever.
I don't mind paying that. We pay 1, 600, $6300 total. It's very much fair price for, for living here. And we can have a whole discussion about that in another episode. The point being the front unit is for rent. It's a two and a lot here. It's like a big ass duplex. It's a 2, 400 square foot apartment, just ours, right?
Four bedrooms, two and a half baths. The front unit is also for rent and they are charging $6495. That thing has been on the fucking market for 45 days. They have no bites. No, one's come to check it out. I have cameras everywhere I can see. But, the reality is with this, she doesn't, the woman up front who owns the unit doesn't need that and people will be like, oh, she's greedy.
Yes, and I think it's largely largely driven by the fact that she knows what Alex, my landlord, got, which is 6, 300. She's like, oh, well, I can get more, right? To me, I'm like, yes, that makes sense. We could just write it off as greed, but I think to me, for me, for my brain, it's so much easier to understand in terms of envy and in terms of that Intrapersonal kind of relative component.
So, maybe the fact that it's been on the market for 45 days doesn't matter to her. And maybe it doesn't matter because it is paid off and so she doesn't need that money. And on the flip side, I'm like, well, she could also have that money coming in by charging less, and not paying that listing agent anymore, and perhaps she'd be happier.
Yes, I realize that happiness is subjective, and perhaps for her, getting the most money might make her the happiest. But, I think that is somewhat of a soft stance to take, and it's like, I'm at a point where we're always like, justifying, and trying to include everybody for fucking everything, and like, have all these caveats, and I'm like, I don't think so.
Yes, it could make her the happiest to have the most money. But one of the things that I love about Ramit and what he's doing with his podcast is that he's objectively showing that it's very difficult for folks who stay fixated on those types of things to get the most money and like penny pinching and penny counting every penny and even though they have a ton of money, they're still not happy.
They're fucking stressed out. So I think that's probably where she's at too. Right? I'm not gonna, I, I can't say for sure, but come on now. Right. So either way, what came forth from reading that book thus far, and I say reading stuff, listening, because I, I am listening to it on Audible. And what I do is when I like a book that's on Audible, if I'm like, oh, I wanna create content around this, then I typically would buy the book.
If I just wanna consume the, the content, I can just listen. And I'm like, all right, cool. But this one I'm like, I want to be able to like use the stuff that's in it and, and really understand it. It's, it takes, it's annoying as fuck to like transcribe things from the audio, from the audio book. So I bought the hard copy as well.
And what came forth has come forth from, I'm only probably about a third of it done, but what has come forth from me reading this and thinking about things are three steps that I believe will move you towards a happier life, whatever happiness looks like for you. Those three things. Are, number one, have expectations of nothing.
Number two, be grateful for everything. And number three, which I think is maybe the most important, compare yourself to no one. I honestly don't want to go too deep into any of these because I think they're self explanatory. And I honestly feel like the need to dissect everything to fucking death, it's annoying.
And to me feels like it's largely a stall tactic and a way to avoid simply doing the thing. But I do want to kind of… speak a little bit on each of these, mainly or namely as a way to counter any arguments that I have with my own points.
You all know that when I'm thinking of episodes and I'm writing things, I'm always like, okay, what's the counter argument to this?
And does that actually hold more weight? Is that actually what I believe? And so when I was putting this together, when I was coming up with those three things, I was like, what are my counter arguments? And what are my counter counter arguments? So that's what we're going to do for the rest of this episode.
Alright, number one, have expectations of nothing. That sounds kind of nihilistic, as in like nothing matters, but it's not. What I'm simply saying is don't have expectations of any kind of outcome. Right? I'm not saying to expect nothing, because if you expect nothing, that's an expectation. I'm simply saying have no expectations.
I probably could have written it, have no expectations, but it sounded cooler of have expectations of nothing, because then point number two is be grateful for everything. But what I am saying is have no expectations. Do things just to do them, not because you expect something in return or not because you expect some sort of outcome, right?
The switch here is simply have experiences instead of having expectations. Disappointment and unhappiness often comes from the gap between what we expect and what we actually experience. So if you go in with no expectations, You'd like, you'll never get, never be disappointed. You may have unsatisfying experiences.
That's okay. But the feeling afterwards is simply, I don't want to do that again. Right? I wasn't satisfied as opposed to I was disappointed. Very different. A lot more, that's a lot more charged with that disappointment there. And it allows you to just move on. You're not just, you're not there ruminating.
You're not feeling like you wasted time. You're not feeling like you got taken. You have the experience and you move on.
So, step number one, have expectations of nothing. Step number two, be grateful for everything. Self explanatory. But, flip side, what about bad shit? Because bad shit be happening all the time.
I think the response to that is, well, find something to be grateful for. It doesn't have to be in the bad shit. Something else to be grateful for. The whole point with this is that I believe it helps you look for the positive in life. And the goal is a happier life, right? Three steps to a happier life.
The smaller this thing that you are looking for and finding the positive in, the more likely it is to occur. Because it's not this massive thing that has to happen, like, I'd have to win a million dollars to be happy. If you're like, the sun is out, I'm happy. And I'm grateful for it. Right? The sky is blue.
It's awesome. I'm grateful for it. And I can see it. There's a really cool breeze coming in. Or it's warm. For me, I'm like, dude, my fridge is full. Fucking grateful as fuck for that.
I do believe that we see what we are looking for. And so, if you are looking for… positive things, you are more likely to see them. And I do believe that you are, people are objectively happier when they see positive things.
So, point number two, step number two, be grateful for everything.
And lastly, perhaps the biggest one, and the one that I've been thinking about the most, compare yourself to no one.
We know, folks, comparison is the thief of joy. That is fucking true. And yes, I also know that I have done episodes, multiple episodes, about complete comparison. Uh, as it relates to comparisonitis and overcoming comparisonitis. And I think that's a very valuable strategy, very tactical and valuable strategy for folks who aren't at a point where they're ready to let go of comparison.
And I put myself into that category. Like that's a technique that I would do is like completely compare myself to somebody else, largely with sports, They're better. I wish I could do that. Okay. Like, what, let me completely compare. Am I willing to practice as much? Did I start at the same time? Am I the same size?
Could ever be that size? All those things, right? That complete comparison. Right? So I think that it is a complete comparison is a very valuable strategy. If we are not at a point where we're ready to simply just let go of comparison, this ties into the envy discussion from earlier, right? Where you cannot be envious if you're not comparing yourself to others.
Or to what others have. So yes, I get it. This is how our brains work, right? Our brains do work in terms of comparison, but I think this is now an objective skill that we can work on and we can gain and we can develop. And I think that if we will kind of really like dive into this, we assign value and worth with comparison, as opposed to just looking at things as data, right?
So. Yes, our brains work, like is this hot or cold to kind of compare this, am I safe, am I not safe? But when you start assigning value to things, that's when it gets hairy, right? So the biggest example I can think of, or a simple example I can think of here is the guilt that people feel when they're simply relaxing.
People will be out here that like, you know, rest is earned and like, yes, and, I'm just talking about the guilt around it. My question is, are you feeling that guilt if you're feeling it? Because you're comparing yourself to what others are doing in that moment. And you're like, well, I should be doing more because Susan is doing this other thing.
Are you feeling guilt because you're comparing yourself to what others have done and now they're resting? And you're like, well, like, you know, Dan did all this stuff and then he rested. What would happen if you just said, I'm relaxing right now, period. What would happen if we just take notice and then move on?
There's a Ram Dass quote, one of my favorite quotes, and Lex actually got it for me a few years ago. She put it on like a, it's like a picture. I don't think I've shared it in the past, but I'm gonna share it again. And the quote reads, When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees.
And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn't get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don't get all emotional about it.
You just allow it. You appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying, You are to this, or I'm to this. That judgment mind comes in. And so, I practice turning people into trees. Which means, appreciating them just the way they are. They are. Of note, you are people.
Apply this to yourself and how you appreciate yourself.
There is nothing revolutionary here in what I'm saying, in these three steps, and my willingness and what I, maybe I will just go with that, my willingness to say that and the fact that I can say that is also inspired by the book, Same as Ever, and the discussion that things don't have to be new in order to be helpful.
There's a quote in it that says how many great ideas have already been discovered, but could grow 100 times or more if someone explained them better. How many products have found only a fraction of their potential market because the companies that made them are so bad at describing them to customers. So so many. Visa founder Dee Hawk once said, “New ways of looking at things create much greater innovation than new ways of doing them.
Love the quote, loving the book. And so, yeah, these three steps that I'm sharing with you, nothing novel, nothing revolutionary, nothing that you haven't heard before, but it's my hope that perhaps it's a new way of looking at them.
Perhaps in the way that I'm sharing it, that it actually lands with you, right? So three steps for a happier life. Number one, have expectations of nothing. Number two, Be grateful for everything. And number three, compare yourself to no one. That's all I got for you. No new reviews, no new anything like that, but still endlessly, endlessly grateful for all of you.
I know you're listening. I know you're there. I see the downloads. You also DM me. I got a text the other day. I told you I don't get very many texts, but I did one the other day. Text me folks. You got requests? You got questions? 310 737 2345. I promise it's me. It is green because it's my sideline, but it is me.
But I know you're listening and I am just endlessly appreciative for your time and your energy and your attention. All right? All right. Oh, hit the desk. Gonna wrap it up there. As always, incredibly, incredibly, incredibly grateful for every single one of you. Until next time friends, Maestro out.
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