[Transcript starts at 0:40]
Hello, hello, hello my podcast people and thank you for joining me for yet another episode of
my favorite online business podcast. If you're listening, tuning, and watching on the day that it
drops, it is Monday, February 2nd. Welcome to February.
Let me turn this up. There we go. Rupert always puts his head on the mic and then he turns the
volume down.
I'm like, my guy. We're going to jump right on into today's topic because I want to. And today's
topic is what you expect when you start speaking up online.
So Alex Pretty was murdered, facts, by ICE on January 24th. It was all caught on camera. All of
the United States saw it.
All of the world saw it. And then the United States government said, don't believe your eyes.
And it became what I think was the tipping point for many folks in the online space.
Many folks who were kind of on the fence or had been previously silent about all of the
horrendous shit that has been going on. They, they spoke up about this, like across the, like, I
saw many people who I was surprised and I was like, wow, that's, I am proud of you. And some
of it was a little bit of like a dip in the, you know, dipping the toe.
It wasn't a full on, like, this is fucking horrendous. But like, they hadn't said shit before. And yes,
I want to say, like, is it, are you allowed to feel frustration that it's taken people, you know,
quote unquote, so long? Sure.
And also, we all go at our own pace, right? For me, George Floyd's murder was actually the
catalyst for things. And that was only in 2020. Shit has been going on a hell of a long before
that.
I think, you know, I thank J-pop for being so patient with me. So I'm not here to throw stones
and be like, these motherfuckers took forever. They didn't say anything.
Like, a win is a win. They're here now. I'm happy.
So I want to use this episode to give you a heads up as to what you can probably expect to
happen once you start speaking up online, right? And it's not to scare you. And it's not scary.
Like you're going to see when I go through, it's not scary, but I want to, I put this episode out
because I think that it actually talking about it and telling you what to expect actually decreases
the fear, in my opinion, and increases the likelihood that folks will speak up.
Because you get to see like, oh, it's the gift of going second. It's like, oh, it's not that bad. And it
does matter.
Speaking up does matter. Using your voice does matter. It is impactful.
It is helpful, objectively, which is a good segue for the first talking point, which is that speaking
up on social media does matter and is helpful. I'm going to go through the, I think I have like
four or five things listed out. I'm going to go through those, but before you get to that, because
this conversation I've had a bit and I am actually going to put some content out on socials
about it.
It does matter. Speaking up does matter and it is helpful. If you've had any hesitation or
reservation around speaking up, that's how you know that it matters.
You wouldn't have hesitation otherwise. You know that it does something. If it didn't do
anything, you wouldn't have hesitation, right? Right? It does something.
The long and the short of it is that people listen to people who they're close to, right? They
listen to people who they're close to, they listen to people who they trust, and for better or
worse, they listen to people who look like them. This last point is especially true for white
people and I said what I said. The reason I say, you know, this specifically for white people is
because white voices have the biggest share of the spotlight when it comes to the media, right?
So because of that, white people are who most people of any color are most used to hearing
and seeing.
Familiarity breeds trust and humans are most likely to listen to things that they're the most
used to hearing, right? That familiarity. Things they're most used to hearing, that they're the
most used to seeing, especially when it mirrors their own experience, right? That part is
important, right? Especially when it mirrors their own experience. So not only is it the thing
they're seeing the most of, but then they're like, this person looks like me.
There's like an inherent trust there of like shared experience. I trust them a bit more. I'm not
faulting anyone.
I'm faulting the situation. I'm just stating a fact and I want to encourage folks to use this to their
advantage, right? I had a discussion today in my DMs, which partially inspired this episode, and
this person was thanking me for speaking up and saying that it gave them the permission that
they know they didn't need, but like it gave them permission to do the same and use the
platform and speak up. And, you know, they were thankful for that, even though they thought
that it really didn't matter because they have a small following.
And I was like, bitch, what? I sounded like a chicken. Bitch, what? I argue, I'll argue that it
matters more than what I say. Because the people who listen to them probably aren't listening
to me.
Or flip side, they're more likely to listen to them. This is my desk up here for a second. All right,
the majority of my followers, if you're watching this, you see I got something in my eye.
My eye is itchy. This is not going to make for a good clip on Instagram, but it's real and I'm not
redoing it. So I would argue that it matters more than what I say.
What they say matters more than what I say, because the people who are listening to them,
they're probably not listening to me. Well, they're more likely to listen to that person. All right,
the majority of my followers do not look like me.
They're not like me. The majority of people I know don't look like me. I have a big voice.
I have a big influence. I'm not a big person, 5'6″, 125 pounds on a good day. So if you ever meet
me, don't tell me you thought I'd be bigger.
I'm not a small frame. Okay. All right, big voice, big influence.
But I will never be able to, you know, have that deep, you know, granular impact effect
relationship the way that you will have with your immediate circle of people. That's why micro
influences are so powerful. That's why if a brand is smart, they partner with that person
because the brand can never, I'm going to use the word penetrate, the way that individual can.
It sounds terrible the way I said that, but like it's the truth. You know what I'm saying? This is a
fact. The ripple effect or the butterfly effect, it is real.
Your impact is real. Your voice and your actions do matter arguably more than anything when
we're thinking about bridging gaps. One of the biggest issues is that we do have internet silos,
right? And we're over here talking one thing, thinking everyone thinks this way, and they're
over there saying, other people are over there saying another thing.
And the way that these gaps and these bridges get divided is with individual conversations. I'm
not saying that they have to get bridges. I think I just said the bridges get, the gaps get
bridged.
What did I say? I'm like, wait, did I say the right thing? The way that we bridge those gaps, right,
is with one-on-one conversations. They don't have to be in person, you know, but one-on-one
conversations between people who care about each other in some way, shape, or form. That's
the only way.
My post is not going to go to some, you know, super right-wing drumper and they're going to
be like, oh, I see the light. But having, you know, this kind of like titrated effect where like I
speak to somebody who speaks to somebody who speaks to somebody who has a family
member. And I mean, it probably doesn't even need that many degrees, but I'm going to say it
that way.
Who has a family member that is over there, but is willing to listen and have a conversation.
That's how things, those gaps start to get bridged, right? It's with those conversations. Your
impact is real.
Your voice and your actions do matter. So what to expect when you start speaking out online.
Number one, support.
Let's start with the positive here. If you've been listening to this podcast, I already know what
kind of person you are. Like shitty people don't listen to this podcast.
We attract what we are, not what we want. To that I know you're good people. You've attracted
good people.
You are surrounded by good people. I don't know how many, but they're there. And when you
speak out, people will support you.
They will thank you. And hopefully they will join you. You may have to give it a bit of time,
especially depending on your audience size, smaller audiences, less people, but they will
support you.
Your people will support you. They will say thank you. They will be grateful that you went first.
They will be grateful and thankful that you gave them permission to do the same. Second thing
to expect, you're going to lose followers. All right, fuck that number, but like you can see it and
people get all like bent up over it.
So I'm just going to address it. Like you will lose followers. Yes.
Ideally you don't lose too many. And you know, perhaps it's because you've been showing up
with such clear values this whole time that like when you like specifically state something,
people are like, of course I thought you thought that. But the flip side is that you can, the flip
side of that is that you can absolutely have been showing up with your values and things like
that.
But, and people will see what they want to see. All right. And, and convince themselves of
whatever they want to, they want to convince themselves of.
And that's fine. That's totally fine. That is 100% fine.
All right. Agency, autonomy. They are sexy.
Adios. Let them go. I do, I said this in the past episode.
I do think that some of these people are bots and it's meta punishing you. At least I do think
that is the case. I have lost a couple of thousand of people, but my engagement is exact same
and like nothing has changed.
So I'm like, what the fuck was this? I've said this in the beginning though. I think you see it on
the other way as well. When you start to gain a lot of followers and going viral and things like
that.
I think that a good number of them are not actual people. I think it's meta. It's, it's like, you
know, you go to slot machine and you won.
Right. I think that it's the house letting you in so that you stay longer and not all of it's real
people. Right.
But I'll have to say you will lose followers who cares. I think it's bots move on. I just want to say
like prep you for what to expect.
Third thing to expect trolls. They're going to be there. And this is, I think the one that everyone
is scared of.
The reality is unless you go viral, it's going to be minimal amount of trolling that you get. And
it's going to be primarily in your DMs, right? Because people are little bitches, right? Yes. I do
get them.
Um, I couldn't probably count on like one hand. The number of people that people quote
unquote, I'm gonna use that loosely. Uh, not all men, but always a white man.
Always that's who's in my DMS being pathetic. Um, yes, I get some of them and they just say
dumb shit and you just like ignore it. Right.
If you have a bigger following and you haven't spoken out before, and you're a white woman,
you're going to get some dusties. I'm going to tell you right now, you're going to get some
dusties. They're all going to be women as well.
Some miserable fucks. That's what they are. The goal is not to get them.
I never like set out to be like, and see how many like hate comments you can get immediately.
No, that sounds fucking terrible. I'm just letting you know that it's a thing.
Um, because many people are unhappy with their lives and they want to recruit you to their
miserable fucking club. Um, you can go see, you can go to their profile. I do that anytime I get
a, a comment like that, I go to the profile and sometimes I'm like, you're not real.
Like this is clearly like some sort of bot. I don't know. They're never following you.
I'm like, how'd you fucking see my stories? This is very weird. Um, but you can go to their profile
and the ones that are real. You're just like, man, you are fucking sad.
You're miserable. They're often lonely people. And I don't say this to like justify their actions or
like make myself feel better.
I'm just like, this is a fact. Your profile is screaming for help. I'm not the one, but I can see it.
My preference is to ignore these people. Some folks like to use it to make content. I think
there's a time and a place for that.
Um, but for me being, you know, I am petty, petty McPeterson, and these people, they want
attention. That's why they're doing it. These people are going to be in your DMs.
They are unable to self-regulate. They're literally the ones that are actually real. They are
typically throwing a temper tantrum and they're saying something like, how dare you take away
my way of soothing? So if any of you create content, I had a conversation with a friend that
does calligraphy and she had people in her DMs that were like, how dare you? No, don't say this
stuff.
Don't bring this, don't bring politics. Everything's fucking political, but don't bring politics into
this. This is, this channel is an escape for me.
I'm like, bitch, go, go to therapy. Learn how to self-regulate. These are literally adults having
temper tantrums inside of your DMs because they cannot self-soothe.
They cannot self-regulate and now you have taken away one of their coping strategies, their
coping mechanisms, and they are throwing a temper tantrum. So me being me, I'm not getting,
I, first of all, I have not received that kind of comment because my account doesn't do that. It's
not this like soothing kind of account.
All right. But if that was to happen, I'm just ignoring that. I'm not making a post about it
because these people want attention as well.
The ones that I do get in my, my DMs, I'm like, definitely, I'm like, this is attention seeking
behavior and you're not getting it from me. I'm not giving you what you want. You want to act,
you are definitely not getting what you want.
You want to act like this. So I'm not going to make a post about it because all it does, in my
opinion, is give them what they want, which is attention. All right.
But I did say that I think there's a time and a place for it and I largely mean like when you share
their shit and people get fired from their jobs, I'm like, fuck around, find out. I approve of that. I
approve of this message.
So depending on what's being said, you know, I think there's a time and a place. But for
everything that I've encountered in the DMs that I've received that are just like, one person was
like, eat a dick. And I was like, looks more your speed, my guy.
But you know, things like that, they're never anything that's like, oh my God, this is like so bad
that you said to me. I just ignore them. Sad people.
But as it relates to virality, getting trolled is one thing and then going viral and getting trolled is
different. And this is different irrespective of what you're talking about. It doesn't matter if
you're political, it could be that you just went viral for fitness.
It doesn't matter. When you go viral, you get exposed to literally the worst fucking people on
the internet. They have nothing to fucking do.
Like they have nothing in their lives. Just remember that you control your experience. So you
can turn off the comments on that post.
You can turn on comments only for people that are following you. You could pull the content
down altogether. You have a say as to what happens with this content.
You fully control your experience because virality can, it can be too much and you can be like, I
don't want it. I don't like it. I have never gone viral in that way, but I've seen people go viral and
you get to choose.
Jill and I have talked about this and I'm largely saying this just to present the worst case
scenario to completely catastrophize. Because I talk about this, like go all the way, completely
catastrophize, run it through and then create an action, an action plan, a game plan, action
items, which is exactly what we just did. Maybe you go viral, the worst people ever come
around and you turn off comment.
You leave it. Maybe you're fine. Actually don't care.
Maybe you turn off comments. Perhaps only people who are following you can comment.
Perhaps you pull the content.
You get to choose because it can, I'm thinking about this and just being realistic, it can get bad.
I'm thinking about Meredith and Alex and the times they've gone viral. The flip side is that
going viral can be really good for your account.
I'm not going to call a spade a spade here. I'm going to call a spade a spade here. So for some
people, they're like, it's worth it.
Yeah, I know I get the worst people, but I also get really good people. It's up to you. I just want
to put that out there.
Jill and I had a chat about this and she was like, I think everyone should go viral once and I was
like, I don't know if I want that. I'm sensitive, but there's definitely something to be said about
seeing that these people are just miserable fucks and not as bad as you think and then just
moving on and being like, I don't fucking care anymore. Point number four, right? I have, I think
I got five.
Yeah. Point number four, what to expect when you start speaking up online. You'll get
perspective.
You will get perspective. You'll start to see what matters to you. You'll start to see the influence
and the impact that you have and you will start to look at other people's actions differently,
right? And the only thing that I want to address here is that calling out other people and saying
things like, don't follow anyone who isn't speaking up.
That ain't it, right? It's no better than what we're fighting against. If you're frustrated that
somebody you know or someone in your circle hasn't spoken up or isn't speaking up, have a
conversation with them on the phone or in person and leave the curiosity. That's it.
Otherwise, mind your business. And a big thing that Jill says is contrast creates clarity and what
I'm going to suggest you do here is you use this perspective that you have to really identify
what your values are around everything and then continue to lean into them because what
we're going to see, I'm calling it now because I'm already starting to see it, we're going to see
people speaking up because it's vogue, because it's trending, because it's tacky not to and the
Overton window shifts. So for those of you that don't know what the Overton window is, the
Overton window definition here is a political science concept showing the range of ideas a
society finds acceptable for public discussion, shifting over time from unthinkable to policy,
influencing how activists move radical ideas towards the mainstream by persistently advocating
for them, even if outside the current window, thereby expanding societal norms and political
possibilities.
This was developed by Joseph Joseph Overton in the 1990s and it categorizes ideas as
unthinkable, radical, acceptable, sensible, popular policy with policymakers often following the
window rather than leading it, though long-term shifts occur due to events like crises or
advocacy. We're seeing it happen, it's been happening in not necessarily the right way, the
correct way, but it's been happening and we're going to see folks start to basically build their
marketing around this and look to capitalize off of it. Things like if you want your anti-fascist
boss coach, I'm your girl.
You want your anti-fascist copywriter, I'm your girl. And you're like what? That should be a
given. What's happening? It's like when you go and buy almonds and they're like say it's like
gluten-free or whatever and you're like why would it be? Why would that have been in there in
the first place? This is just marketing? Where's what? I'm gonna take it.
Not the almond marketing, but I'm gonna take the Overton window shifting and people
speaking up because the win is a win. As it relates to this, win is a fucking win. But in the spirit
of this episode regarding what to expect when you start speaking out online, like that is
something to expect.
It's going to happen, it's already happening. You will start to see more of it. Number five, the
last thing, not the last thing like you should never expect, but the final thing on the list of things
to expect when you start speaking out is that you are going to have to keep doing it and it's
going to take a long ass time to change things and we might never see the full fruits of our
labor.
Laura Jean talks about this, right? Building, planting seeds for a forest that you may never step
foot in. Change takes time. The bones of this house that we be living in, they are rotten.
Rotten to the bone. The bones are rotten to the bones, right? But they're rotten to the core.
Even with my example before, right, of the anti-fascist boss babes, anti-fascist copywriters, it
speaks to the underlying issue that we have, which is the particular flavor of corporate
capitalism that is so embedded in our society that's so foundational and fundamental, right?
Our specific flavor of capitalism necessitates and requires racism in order to continue, but at
the heart of all the shit that's happening, it's capitalism, right? It's corporate extractive
capitalism and as long as that's the driver for things and involved in things, the fight continues
and things continue to stay, you know, I don't say they don't continue to stay exactly the way
they are, but the radical change that we're looking for isn't there, right? It's just parts of it.
We're working towards it. All that to say this shit's going to take a long time. I know I'm going to
have to make up content about this because people are excited, they're feeling inspired, they're
feeling momentum, which is great, but what happens is, you know, if you've ever done any kind
of distance running, I used to run cross country many years ago, and like you're running and
then you're like, oh, I said get over that hill, then you get over the hill and you're like, what the
fuck, there's more hills.
Like even though you know the course beforehand, but you're just like, there's more and I just
use so much energy. Fuck. No finish line in sight.
I'm going to remind people of that and people have been reminding people of that since
beginning time and talking about it as a marathon, not a sprint, but I don't want to, I'm saying it
to you folks because you're my best folks, my closest folks, you and my email list. I don't want
to put it out preemptively because then people won't do anything. They're like, why would I
start that? And I was like, I get that.
I understand that, but it is going to be a long, long journey. But just because something is a big
task doesn't mean we don't try. We just need more help and that my friends and bring it full
circle is the value of that ripple effect.
One voice speaking up, someone else hears it, they hear it, they speak up, et cetera, et cetera,
et cetera, right? So if you listen to this episode here in this episode and you've been speaking
out, thank you. If you haven't, that's fine too, right? This episode is not to shame you or guilt
you into speaking up and speaking up. If you can't speak out for whatever reason, this episode
is literally not for you.
Like it's not for you. Not at all. This episode is for the folks who are thinking about speaking out,
speaking up, but maybe nervous.
It's for the folks who have started, but are wondering what happens next? How does this look
like? I'm kind of dipping my toe. Is water that deep? This is what to expect. And this episode is
for the folks who have been doing it.
J-pop, I'm thinking about you. They've been doing it forever. This episode is for them to tip their
hat, hold up their drink and say, welcome to the rodeo.
We've been waiting for you. Happy to have you. All right.
That is all that I got for today. Oh, look at Rupert in the background, giving himself a bath.
Rude.
Got to block that out. Block that out. Censor that.
That is all that I got for you for today. As always, I am endlessly, truly, truly, endlessly, one more
time, endlessly appreciative for every single one of you. I really, I had a Threads conversation.
Someone posted about podcast hosts and they were like, I don't see enough like black queer
podcast hosts on here on my feed. And I was like, well, I will raise my hand because that's
actually literally me. And I was just like, yo, I got over 700 episodes.
I got over a million downloads like using a podcast. And Jeremy from Personal Finance Club,
that dude, he's good people. He wrote back and he was like, that's really fucking impressive,
like a million downloads.
And I was like, honestly, it's one of the things that I'm most proud of. One of the
accomplishments that I'm the most proud of in life. And I'm grateful for every single download.
I'm grateful for every single listen. I share my brain on here. My value is my heart.
And you folks listen. And whether you listen to one episode, all the episodes, some of the
episodes, I know I'll be talking a lot. I know I'll be fucking yapping.
I know. 700 episodes, a lot of fucking yapping. And then I got the other podcast as well.
You listen. And I really, folks, I really, really do appreciate it. All right, I'm going to wrap it up
there.
I'd love to hear from you. If you want to share your thoughts or whatever. I've been having
some really good comments in the DMs.
Feel free to text me as well. 3107-372-345. Okay, officially wrapping up there.
Until next time, friends. Maestro, out.
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