This past weekend my girl Lex visited me as part of her birthday hoorah, and after I finished explaining to her in detail how I load the dishwasher (separating the utensils makes it much easier to unload) she looked at me and said, “You’re really particular, aren’t you?!”
My response, “Perhaps if more people were more particular, they’d be happier.”
Here’s the deal, I’m never trying to force my version of happiness on anyone, which is exactly what my response meant.
Expressing your desires is integral in creating your happiness.
There’s a ton of talk these days about setting boundaries and saying no, and while I wholeheartedly support the importance of both of these concepts, it’s been my experience that if you’re particular about what you say yes to there’s a whole lot less that you need to worry about saying no to.
A question for you: Has anyone ever called you particular?
I know that I’ve got quite a few people-pleasers in my audience, so it wouldn’t be too surprising if the majority of folks here haven’t ever been called particular. Not because they don’t have preferences, but because they’ve yet to express them for fear of, well, being labeled as particular (aka difficult).
As someone who’s been called particular quite a few times, I’ve honestly yet to view it as a bad thing.
Call it a Capricorn thing, call it an enneagram 5 thing, call it an ‘I like what I like thing’ (my personal fave), expressing what I want has played an integral role in allowing me to create my happiness, and I have zero qualms about being labeled as particular.
Additionally, I’ve learned that when I’m clear about my wants, not only does it increase the likelihood that I’ll be happy with the outcome, it gives those around me the permission and confidence to express their wishes, and suddenly, we’re all that much happier.
How you load the dishwasher, how you put the weights back, how the pillows get organized, where the remote gets left, how you do your laundry, how you put away the groceries, how you mow the lawn, how you do whatever…I’m certain you’ve got a particular way that you like to do that thing, and I encourage you to express it.
Let them call you particular.
Perhaps if they were more particular they actually wouldn't find you to be particular at all.