[Transcript starts at 2:00]
Hey friends, Maestro here. And thank you for joining me for yet another episode of Maestro on the Mic. So if you didn't notice, I changed what I say when I start the podcast. I, for the past 226 episodes, say, have said, Hey guys, Maestro here. And after last week's podcast, or actually when you're listening to this, it would be this week's earlier podcast, the Monday long episode, if you listen to it with Nick Strack, they are amazing by the way.
Uh, I decided that. I need to do better. So we're changing that and saying, Hey friends, just getting away from this gendering, um, vocabulary that may not be so inclusive. Uh, and that actually takes me into today's topic, right? We're talking about rejection and failure. This was, this topic was posed to me by one of you dope humans out there in Insta land.
You know who you are, thank you. By the way, yes, if you reach out to me, I will. Oftentimes, oftentimes I mean all the time, read it, reach back and, uh, you just might get a podcast episode out of it. So thank you for that inquiry there. So regarding this concept of rejection and failure, to me, a lot of that is largely rooted in it's subjective.
It's how we perceive it to be. Now, tying into the interaction that I just had with Nick, where they were like, Yeah, maybe, you know, you shouldn't say that. So I actually asked them at the end of the podcast, I was like, is there something better? Cause I, I say, Hey guys, or you guys a lot. And I was just like, is there something better I should be saying?
And they were just like, yeah, I was going to tell you that after the podcast. And they gave me, you know, things to say and we moved on. We moved forward. forward. Now that could be viewed depending on the person that could, that, that interaction there, that experience could very easily be internalized. And you like take on the shame and like, Oh, Nick doesn't like me.
And people think I'm bad now. And you know, you kind of retreat within yourself and we don't move forward with it, or we can reframe that and be like, yeah, I learned, and now I have the opportunity to improve on my past behaviors. Um, I am actually right now avoiding saying when you know better, you do better because.
Nick and I actually talk about that in the episode, and they presented a really just phenomenal discussion surrounding that and how there are some steps in between there that maybe we are ignoring, um, when we say that, um, and not at all to say that that, you know, Maya Angelou did what was meant there, but just as we're interpreting it now, um, perhaps we could fill in the blanks a little bit.
So, strategically not saying that. And just, you know. You know, trying to reframe that and be like, this was a learning opportunity. And now I have more information and I can use that and I'm going to do my best to use that moving forward. So the question that was posed to me was basically around a post that I believe the title was redirect, redirecting, uh, Rejection, something like that.
And, or redirection from rejection was the name of it. And I had a discussion with this person. It was awesome. I really do love talking to you guys and chatting with you guys in the DM. So please reach out. Um, and I mentioned to them that. Just, just the other day, actually, a friend asked me, uh, we were talking about failure and I kind of said, not by kind of, I said, I don't think that I've ever failed.
And to me it's because of the subjective nature. of this concept of failure. You know, life is not a zero sum game. Like, I grew up playing sports. I relate almost everything to sports. And as such, that can be very much a zero sum. Like, this person, this team won, and that team lost. Although, you could take it a step further and be like, well, did you learn stuff from it?
But, you know, as it stands on paper, it's like, this team lost, this team won. That's not life. There's room for everyone and it's not a zero sum game. Both parties can win, both parties can, you know, learn, grow from these things. And as such, when I look back on things that I've done, I can't really say that I failed.
And I'm not saying that in an arrogant way. I'm just saying this is how I've reframed things where it's like I learned from things. If you guys are following me on Instagram right now, you're noticing that my content is shifting and I'm pivoting very hard right now into the digital business, online business space.
That is my passion. Uh, I started out in the movement world. I enjoy it, but that's not my passion anymore. And I really want to help people with their online businesses. I tried doing this pivot. A while ago, and it didn't work, but I didn't view that as a failure and such like, Oh, I can never do this. And I'm the worst.
And you're internalizing that it was just like, Oh, that was not the time. And I'm going to learn from this. I'm going to take, you know, what I can from this, what I will from this and move forward instead of sitting there and, and, and viewing it as a failure. You know, as I'm saying that, I don't want you guys to think that I'm belittling you or trying to shame you at all, if that's how you view things.
And you know, the default is for you to, to feel some kind of way about times when you haven't experienced what we would consider, I guess, traditional success. I'm simply relating to you and relaying to you my mindset on these things and how I move forward and move through life with these things. And, and we've talked about it before in relation to other things, and it's largely about.
Uh, reframing. So if you listen to some of the past, I don't even know, one of the past, two of the past episodes, uh, you know that I attended a dope ass online workshop about relational fuckery. And in that workshop, they presented this, this framework. And I feel like maybe I'm missing a step. Um, so, you know, don't take my words verbatim here, but.
The reason I'm bringing this up and I actually tried to look up more of this before I started this episode and I couldn't find, I couldn't find more because I think maybe this ties into or is from Dr. Jen McCabe's work and so I went and looked them up and I couldn't find more about this but I will. Uh, but either way, uh, within the workshop, and then Nick actually spoke about it again during the episode, this kind of stepwise approach, this framework to help that I believe can help with reframing things.
So to me, it's, it's not helpful for me to be like, just reframe it. Because I understand that that's not so easy for everyone. You're bringing in your past experiences, your beliefs, and things like that. Uh, so, I don't want to just say that. I think maybe for some people that might help, but for most people they probably need a bit more, you know, actionable steps there.
And so, Nick and, uh, James Olivia spoke about this framework. And it's, it's, The three steps I'm going to give you, the three words I'm going to give you, again, there might be a fourth, I'm not sure, but that would be awareness, accountability, and then action. So we see that it's not just about action and taking action and changing how you're thinking.
There's other things that happen first, where it's like having the awareness that like, Oh, I'm feeling some kind of way being, you know, and then the next step of accountability, like I'm going to try to do this thing different, uh, in holding yourself accountable and responsible for doing things differently, and then taking action, but all that to say.
There are more steps than just changing your behavior and your mindset on these things. Uh, and I want to present that framework so that it's not just like, well, think about things differently, because that is not So actually just popped into my head and I want to speak about it also real quickly. Um, the person that reached out with the question about rejection and, uh, failure, if you will, said, and, and actually a lot of people say this to me, a good amount of people say this to me that they assume because I have a large following that I must have a lot of haters and I don't, I don't have a lot of haters.
My, my audience is quite frankly, fucking phenomenal. I'm Y'all rock, like you are just phenomenal and so it's interesting to me and this is what I wrote back to that person It's interesting to me that we assume The two that with, you know, a big presence comes big rejection. And I don't know, I don't know about that.
Um, I think that that assumption, I think, you know, all of our thoughts are going to be based on our own experiences and so. Where I'm going with this is the phrase that I use all the time that my good friend Sarah Suds told me when I was up in, when I was up in San, almost at Santa Monica. Nope, San Francisco quite some time ago.
And she said, we attract what we are, not what we want. And to me it just, you know, this really speaks about that law of attraction. And I can't help but wonder, if you go into something and you're expecting to get haters, to me, that's, Perhaps you're going to get haters then. So, I'm not at all saying that haters don't exist or anything like that, but, you know, a large part of me believes that, yeah, if you go in, if you go into it being like, yeah, I'm gonna get haters on this, I think you're probably gonna get haters.
And not necessarily because, you know, of these intangible things surrounding it, but perhaps these unconscious actions that you're taking. in whatever you're creating. Let's say it's about a post and you're like, Oh, it's going to get a lot of haters. Perhaps you go into it thinking that, and in how you're writing, perhaps you're a bit more inflammatory or you don't care as much about what you're writing, cause you're like, well, it's going to get haters anyway.
And so you're not as precise with your language and, you know, taking the time to really express what you mean. Um, so perhaps. We attract more of that. Whereas if you go out being like, I'm just trying to help people. I'm trying to connect with people. Uh, maybe it changes things. You know, I can't, I'm not just going to speak with a hundred percent certainty on that, but it is interesting to me that people assume that I would have a lot of haters and I don't.
You all are. Phenomenal. And, you know, I do think that part of it is why I've chosen to stick with Instagram because it does insulate you a bit, you are kind of speaking to an echo chamber there. Um, if you haven't noticed, I recently ventured into TikTok and you're definitely not as insulated there. Um, you can't delete comments from other people.
Um, you know, going viral, I don't wanna say it's easy there, but basically it just takes one video for you to kind of go viral and, When that happens, like you're going to get exposed and introduced to like a bajillion people, there's no, it's not the same as Instagram. And I really do like that about the Instagram algorithm or whatever.
So I will let you know how I, how I do with this and really putting my, my, my money where my mouth is, uh, and, uh, Not, not going in expecting negativity and instead reframing that and thinking about that framework that, um, was presented during the workshop. And perhaps the, the, the better, I don't want to say better, but perhaps a different way to go about things and to enter into these new endeavors is not to expect negativity, right?
I don't like that because I feel like if you were expecting it, then it's probably going to happen. But maybe we could go in. Better prepared and better educated and more aware of ourselves so that we're more easily able to identify the feelings that come up when we encounter, or if we encounter, you know, any kind of negative negativity and thus allowing ourselves the time and the opportunity to create space, create a moment so that we can choose How we react.
So there's a lot more steps involved there. Um, but I, I don't think that simply expecting negativity is necessarily going to prepare us for us, prepare us for it. And again, this is something that I'm, I'm really Beginning my journey into learning more about, and that's why I brought Nick on the podcast.
That's why James Olivia is coming on the podcast. That's why I plan to do more reading into the work of, of people like, uh, Jen McCabe and Barbara J Love, which is, these are people that both Nick and James Olivia had, had brought up and mentioned. And my goal is to learn more. You know how I am, I go deep with things.
But to me, I think that as it relates, I'm always about trying to Action, actionable steps. And so to me, I think that the way that I handle rejection and failure is that I don't view it as rejection and failure. I've reframed it. Uh, and I think that I've done some of these steps without knowing it. And so it's nice to be able to put words to it.
Um, but. In sharing that with you, we're thinking about awareness, accountability, then action, not just, Oh, I'm just going to reframe it. Uh, and not going into things, expecting the negativity, not going into things, expecting the bad side of it or the more unpleasant side of it, but going in prepared, taking the time to learn more about ourselves, uh, and how we operate.
And thus, Perhaps, perhaps being a bit more prepared so that we can identify the feelings that come up when some of these more unpleasant interactions occur. You know, typically, you know, deemed unpleasant, um, interactions or occurrences happen, and then having the skillset and the ability to be able to take a moment and create the space so that we can choose how we react.
And it's not just, you know, I'm going to be mad about this, or I'm going to be, stay sad about this. Um, and maybe, maybe react isn't the word, maybe the word is respond. Cause I think to me, react kind of, you know, It just happens and, you know, we have that sympathetic, uh, reaction, if you will, to things and that's going to happen.
But then it's like, how do we respond to that? What do we do next? Because there is, you know, some free agency and some choice involved in there. So a bit of a wordy episode, perhaps. I realize this, but I've got my, my thinking hat on these days and I'm just trying to do better. I'm trying to learn more and really internalize that and really sit with it.
And some of this, some of these episodes, you may find that I'm puzzling it through, puzzling through it with you. So. Be kind. All right, that is all that I got for you. Today's topic, like I said, was this idea of rejection, this idea of failure, and perhaps if we reframe it and perhaps if we better prepare ourselves going into just anything we're doing, it may allow for some different experiences.
Outcomes. All right? All right, that's all that I got for you. What am I gonna ask for? Am I gonna ask for anything? Ah, I don't think I have anything to ask for. You, I almost said it, you folks are tremendous, you're super supportive, um, I do have a webinar coming up. I'll see you there. When is this episode?
This episode is going on Thursday. So I have a webinar that's going to be out, um, on Saturday. I'll link it in the show notes. It's a webinar all about email marketing. I had a bunch of interest from the social channels. And so I put together a webinar. So if you're interested in a webinar, learning about what the fact email marketing is, how to use it, how it can help your business.
Check out the link in the bio and then sign up if you want. Uh, yes, of course, there will be a replay. So if you can't attend live, the webinar is going to be July 11th at 10 a. m. Pacific time. If you can't attend live, that's okay. Uh, you can just catch the replay at any. So, yeah, that's all I got for you. As always, endlessly, endlessly, endlessly appreciative for all that you do and all the support that you show me.
If you want me to talk about something else, you got questions, you got, you know, ideas for podcast episodes, Slide into that DM, shoot me a text at 310 737 2345, email me, whatever, and I'll see what I can do. Okay, officially wrapping it up. Until next time friends, Maestro, out.
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