[Transcript starts at 1:11]
Hello, hello, hello, my podcast people and welcome to the new year. It is January 1st, 2024, the first episode of the new year, and also my birthday. If you're listening to this on the day that it drops, right. January 1st, that is my birthday. I am. 39 years old, and I got no great epiphanies to share with you.
Go listen to all the episodes I've done. Those are my epiphanies. Uh, but welcome to the, uh, welcome back to the show. We never stop, but we'll say welcome back and we'll jump on today. We're going to talk about, the perhaps socialized narcissism. I'm going to use that term, but that's honestly not even the correct term.
Um, but we're talking about is your social media content too self centered. And if you talk to some folks, especially if you talk to older folks and I'm talking about like, you know, I have some clients that are in their seventies and the term that they use is narcissism. And it feels kind of narcissistic, like, Hey, look at me.
And I received a dope fucking question from one of my favorites, morgan, you know. Thank you. Uh, and I want to talk about that as it relates to social media.
So quick life updates and podcast updates and then we'll hop on into the episode.
So it's always weird because I record these obviously before they go out and oftentimes it's before things have happened.
So while if you're listening to this the day drops, it's my birthday, I'm recording this beforehand, which means that the New Year's Eve slash early birthday party that Lex and I are having has not happened yet. So I'll let you know how that goes. I honestly, this is compromise folks. Like this is being in a relationship.
Cause I'm not going to lie. I didn't really want to do anything. I'm an old curmudgeon. I love staying at home. I love doing nothing. Lex asked me literally a billion times if I wanted a party and I was just like, do you want to throw a party? Because then go ahead. So we're going to be doing that. I know it's going to be great But you know the planning and stuff before, not really into it.
So she's doing majority of that. She's currently as the time I'm recording that she's currently out picking up groceries and then I'm gonna go do some stuff and it's gonna be okay, but I'll let you know next week's episode how that party went,. But speaking of next week's episode I want to give you a little reminder and actually it's not even a reminder it's an announcement because I changed things and I changed them again, and now I'm changing them again. So I don't know last week week before I announced that we'd be going down to one episode per week, and I sat with that and I was like, but also y'all know that I love volume. I love some volume. And so I made a compromise with myself and here's what we're going to do.
I'm going to release a new episode every Monday, new podcast episode every single Monday and it will also be on YouTube. On Thursdays I'm going to re release an older episode, right? We're going to do it Thursday throwback or yeah, throwback Thursday style. There'll be no video associated with it.
Cause it's going to be a, an older, you know, a re release. Um, and I'm actually really excited about this. So why am I doing this? Well, number one, once is never. Number two, I can do what I want. It's my podcast. Um, but. Number three, I recently re read, quote unquote re read, Morgan Housel's new book, Same As Ever, which I loved, and I actually re listened to it.
If you're watching, you can see I did the quotation marks. I re listened to it, and the reason I did that is because I was falling asleep as I was listening to it. I listened to it on the plane, and so I'm like hearing it, but not like fully internalizing it, and so I went back and listened to some parts that I had already listened to actually when I was awake, and I was like, Yo, things hit different the second time around.
The second, third, fourth, fifth, eleventy billionth time around. So that got me to thinking and I was like, we can do that with the podcast and I talked to my editor Courtney and she was on board and I was like, I think this is what we're going to do. All right. I got 500 plus episodes. I know that you can go and search them and hopefully you're doing that.
Um, but that also means that there's a very good chance that a bunch of you haven't heard all of them. Like, there's just, there's just a lot of content to consume. And if you have listened to every single one, God bless you. You are fucking the MVPs. But, I know that a lot of you haven't. And also, I've said this a bunch of times, Apple only shows the most recent 300 episodes.
This is episode 541, which means 241 episodes, they're not shown in Apple Player. So, hold on, let me clear my throat, excuse me, we're leaving it in, you know why? Because that's how it is, um, that means that there's 241 episodes that you haven't heard. So, if any of you listening to this are content creators, I know you get this, especially if you've been doing it for a while, you have a lot of content, folks will ask you questions, or you'll be like, hey, what episodes do you want?
And folks are awesome, and they'll submit their, their inquiries, their questions, their suggestions, and you're like, I've already done an episode on that. I have a full episode on that. And it's not the fault of the person. Like there's a lot of content to consume. So sometimes it's fun to recreate the episode.
I'm like, you know what, I can do this better. I'm going to make a new episode and then tie some new things in sometimes. You can re release an episode, right? I talk about this with, with social media content, which is what we're going to talk about today. Social media content in general. Uh, but I was like, let's do it with the podcast.
All right. Let's try it with the podcast. Um, I spoke with my girl, Nyki. Like, I know when I'm going to do something on this, like I'm going to do it, but I do sometimes like to reach out to people on the other side of things and be like, how will this be as an experience for you? And I spoke, spoke it over, I talked it over with Nikki and we're going to do this.
So, Thursdays, throwback Thursday, gonna bring an episode back from the past. How long? I don't know. The only, the only concern that I have with this is the audio quality, which was never bad. Right? I, that was, I was always a stickler for the audio quality, but it's gonna sound different than these. So, we'll see, you know, how that affects things, but If we kind of take a step back, my whole shtick is about consistency and the fact that focus is a superpower.
As I was thinking about, do I want to do newer episodes or what? I really started to lean into this idea of re releasing older episodes, because as I create more content, that in and of itself could have people thinking that there's some magical solution that they haven't heard yet. Cause it's like more episode, more, more episode, more episode.
Nah, man, that ain't it. Right? Like I've been saying the same shit for the past six years, just over and over and over again. So I'm like, let me just. Do that even more, say it over and over again. So with those Thursday episodes, if it's new to you or you want to re listen, which I'm really going to encourage because you get different things out of it, right?
You're in a different place, you know, certain things already. And so you're like, okay, I can focus on something else. All right. You internalize the message different. Um, so if it's new to you, if, or if you just need to re listen or you want to re listen, do that. Otherwise, skip the episode and use that Thursday morning time to go and do the thing.
Go and do the thing. So today's episode, let's get into the main topic. Again, inspired by my girl Morgan, phenomenal question. And basically the long and the short of her question was, is How to, how to reconcile this kind of self centered nature of, or seemingly self centered nature of social media. I'm going to read her DM question verbatim and then get into it.
So her question, or not really a question, you'll see. She said, podcast topic idea, something related to getting over the performative nature of content creation and how it can feel really very self focused and selfish. Like hey, look at me, like I somehow have my shit more together than someone else. I love this.
Thanks. She wanted to say, but the key is to focus on helping others and solving their problems and leaning into perhaps the lessons you learned from your own experience or gathering of knowledge. I want to highlight that point, that point that she wrote, Hey, look at me, like somehow I have my shit more together than someone else.
Y'all, this is the whole point. This is actually the whole entire point of using social media for online business. You need to have your shit more together than the person you're looking to help. You need to be eleventy billion steps ahead of them. This is literally the whole point. And I'm so glad that she asked this because I see the opposite on social media and it drives me fucking crazy.
If you're watching, you're listening, you're watching, you can see my hands are going wild. You can obviously hear it in my, my voice here. That shit drives me crazy, you know. This year I, I kind of, as I put this episode together, I was like, I'm not trying to be on this episode and like, you know, making declarations that I'm going to be more unfiltered this year.
Because I, I, when I, post stuff, when I share stuff on the podcast, I say what I want to say, but I'm like, this is something that I've been trying to put words to for quite some time. And I'm just so glad she asked it because I'm like, those are the words and now I can put the words to it and share it right here on the podcast.
I see on social media business coaches that literally don't have their shit together and they are coaching other people and creating an army of insecure, overwhelmed, fragile people. Immediately fucking no. Online business takes a long time. But I'm going to say this and I want you to just bear with me.
It's not that fucking difficult, right? It is difficult in terms of the things you can't control where people, whether or not people want to buy things, right? Things like that. But like what you need to be doing and the predictability that you can create in your business is not that fucking hard. And if it is so hard for you and you're like, this is just, I don't like it.
It's not for me. I cry every day. Don't fucking do it, nor should you just create a fucking business MLM and just be like, Well, I can make money by coaching other people. Meanwhile, I'm so insecure as fuck, and I'm crying every day about this shit, and I'm overwhelmed as fuck. No, that is not helping anyone.
It's not helping anyone. I watch as, as Jill gets shit for the confidence that she just inherently exudes. And it's not right. That woman does have her shit together. And that's why you want to work with her, because she can help you, because she is 11 billion steps ahead of you, whether that's an online business or her eating journey or her fitness journey.
That's who you fucking want to be working with, right? The thing that we need to untangle here, right? And separate is that having your shit together more than someone else doesn't make you better than them. And that's not what we're saying when we show up and say, Hey, I have my shit together. It's not like, Oh, I have my together.
You don't, I'm better than you. No. But I am saying I am better at this thing than you, and that is why I can help you.
You're not at all implicitly or explicitly saying that you're better than somebody else by simply posting content, even if that content screams that I have my shit together. Those are two are separate divorce, worth, and all that other stuff from, uh, what's the word- accomplishment, right? Divorce those things.
I feel like if we, you know, equate this or relate this to other things, it makes sense. And it's just like, comes very naturally and people are like, Oh yeah, it makes sense. Like if you think about this with sports, you'd want your coach to be better at that thing than you. You'd want them to have their shit together.
As it relates to the sport, more together than you, right? You want this. I don't want to be able to beat my coach. I don't want to be better than my coach. If we're talking about, you know, an age shift, an age gap, or we're talking about just like, you know, a pure talent, then yeah, you're probably gonna be like outrun your coach or something like that.
But they still know more than you. They're still better at that thing in terms of understanding the mechanics and sort of coaching you. They are better at that than you, and you want that. Otherwise, why the fuck are you paying them? You paying someone who's worse than you and doesn't make any fucking sense.
Biz coaching is no different. And yes, it pulls in life because online business and life, they, they are very much buddy-buddy, right? So if you're going to be on, be coaching me on business, I know that that's gonna tie in life. And yes, I want you ahead of me. I want you to have your shit together. And if you're listening to this and you're doing the coaching, yes, you need to have your shit together.
What does having your shit together mean? Well, that can mean whatever it means to you, right? So if we take another example here, right? If you're going to take financial advice from someone, you want them to have money. You want them to not have financial problems, right? Would you take financial advice from someone who has no money?
Hopefully not. I think about Jill again and the story about, uh, I've told this story before, her brother Dan. And, uh, you know, her brother Dan, he's such a fucking great guy. And he was, I don't know, you know, right out of college maybe and was talking about wanting to start, uh, start basically giving advice.
And basically, you know, he's reading a bunch of books. He's just a really studied, well studied guy. And he was like reading a bunch of financial books and things like that. And he was like telling the family, like, I'm going to give, I'm going to start giving out this advice, you know, whether it's online, whatever.
And his mom just looks at him and goes, but you don't have any money. Yes. Exactly. Exactly. You want to learn from people who are ahead of you and have succeeded in the thing that you're trying to learn about. So, as it relates to having your shit together, as it relates to, uh, in terms of financial advice, that could mean that that person has a zillion spreadsheets.
It could mean that they have retirement accounts. It could mean that they have a good accountant and so they know where everything is. Could mean that they have a system in place that allows them to live their life debt free. Or maybe, maybe they have debt because they're more focused on cashflow and you're okay with that.
But either way, they have their shit together in a way that you agree with. And it's ahead of you and it's what you want to work towards, right? You want them to be to be better at the thing than you are. You want them to have their shit together. So, to answer the question of this episode, is your content too self centered?
Are you saying, hey, look at me, I have Well, number one, I hope so. But as it relates to kind of the negative connotation of is your content too self centered? If you're listening to this episode, if you're listening to this podcast, probably not. You're probably not some asshole that's just like, you know, hopefully not just building, you know, you're sitting on a throne of lies here.
And just like, look at me, look at me, I don't care about you. You're listening to this episode because you do care about other people, right? So I do not think that your content would ever be too self centered in the negative way.
What I suggest you ask yourself instead of is my content too self centered is Am I in a place where I can truly help people in a way that I'm claiming to help, right?
These fucking communal pity parties that I see they aren't helpful unless you're telling your folks your marketing that you offer communal pity parties that are designed to keep you in exactly the same place as you are and do nothing to actually help you change your current circumstances. If so, that's very transparent marketing and go ahead.
All right. The goal is to move people forward. It's a movement towards their goals, right? That's why they're paying you. That's why you are paying people. You're not paying people to stay in exactly the same spot. So if you're not in a place where you can confidently say that you truly help people in whether you're claiming to help them, then let's work on that.
Yes. The confidence to be able to say this, it comes. Let's, let's give specific words there. The confidence to be able to say, I can help you, that comes from actually working with people, right? And it's kind of like the chicken and the egg, and you know that circular, circular, or circular cyclical thing going on there.
But my honest goal is for you to simply be comfortable, confidently saying it, right? Comfortable, confidently saying, I can help you. And not feel like, oh, it's like the me show, or oh, this is narcissistic, you know, whatever. This is running a business. It's saying, I am good at this thing. Maybe it's saying I'm the best at this thing, and I can help you.
I need you to understand that saying that and showing up in that way is not a bad thing. And in fact, it is the whole point of using social media for online business. All right. I'm round up, right? I know that sounded like I'm round up, but I think that's because I was like, I'm wound up, I'm riled up. So I'm round up right now.
I should go do some pushups or something. We're going to end it here. Do not forget that new for everyone episodes will drop every Monday moving forward and the perhaps new to you episodes will drop every Thursday. Monday, we'll have YouTube videos. Thursdays will be re-release, so they have no YouTube videos.
Alright? Alright, as always, endlessly, endlessly, endlessly appreciative for every single one of you. Cheers, my friends to a new year. Until next time, friends, Maestro out.
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