[Transcript starts at 1:09]
Hello. Hello. Hello. My podcast people. And thank you for joining me for yet another episode of my favorite podcast. Literally, I took one week off and I didn't even take one week off. I just recorded them with Jill as a guest episode. And now I'm like, did I forget how to do this? Like. It's also a bit later in the day.
So if you look at the lighting, that is different. Hopefully I don't have to do too much post production editing with that. Uh, and the backdrop is different. Cause I got sick of the other one and I wasn't sitting in that expensive ass chair that I brought that I bought. I wasn't sitting in it enough cause it was an awkward spot.
So I moved it. Now I got two chairs behind me. We'll see what ends up happening with things, but you got to watch this on YouTube to see all that. So if you're watching. Hello there. If you're listening, go watch it on YouTube. Be old, like me, watch your podcasts. I don't know when it happened. I, you know, if you listen to this after this podcast, then you probably know.
Cause I've, I literally have taken you along my, along on my journey. And at some point I just started list watching, started watching podcasts. So. Perhaps considering joining me. Uh, but today we were talking about the question. Are you considerate? Uh, if you're listening to this, it is my guess that you absolutely are, but I want to dive a little bit deeper with things.
So no real life updates. It's going to be all tied into the episode and the update life of business. All that update is that last week we held boss up. It was fucking awesome. You can hear my voice. It's still a little bit, a little bit different, uh, from it. If you were there, thank you. I am legit still recovering just from the, you know, you get that kind of adrenaline dump and it's just so many people and it was fun.
It's just, I was so grateful. I didn't even have the words. I still don't really have the words. I don't think I could ever like really articulate how grateful I am and how much these events mean to me. Uh, but if you were there. Thank you, truly, uh, but the way that we broke boss up up was Jill and I taught the business side of things.
And then we brought in three fucking phenomenal speakers for the personal development side of things. Uh, we had Rachel Strickland, we had Dr. Jennifer Hutton, and we had Dr. Uchenna Osai. So the first speaker, first guest speaker was Rachel. And she spoke about imposter phenomenon, uh, and. Was asking folks to look inward and consider all of the things in the way that they navigate the world and the way that the world is and how that could contribute to the things that they're feeling.
And these gremlins, uh, just, if you know, Rachel, she is just a gift. Uh, but this, you know, asking of people to look inward, Still allows you to consider other people's experiences, right? We can say what has made me feel or experience imposter syndrome, and then we can extract extrapolate and be like, Hey, well, what might make others feel that same way?
Dr. Jennifer Hutton, and she spoke about allyship through a developmental lens. It's phenomenal. It's brilliant. And then you see Dr. Ucheno Osai spoke about loosely, uh, rebranding your sex life. Now both those talks at first glance, they may seem like radically different, but both of those talks were about how scripts shape our experiences and how every single person's experience is unique, right?
So we see this common thread through all of these that's focused on individual experiences, the fact that we all have unique. Experiences, different experiences. So if we circle back to today's, uh, podcast episode topic, the question for you is how much do you consider other people's experiences? In your business.
Y'all know, I stay promoting James Olivia's work. Uh, James Olivia is, um, inquisitive underscore human on, on Instagram. And one of the things I really champion is their relate skills intensive. I took that it's like three, three or four months long. Um, but I champion it because it can give you the tools to interact with people and stop guessing about their experiences and stop.
Guessing about what they want or what they're feeling, right? These tools are explicitly designed to help you learn more about other people and learn more about other people's experiences. And I think as a person and as a business owner, tools like those. All right, of note, and James Olivia makes a point to say this, the tools are not there to weaponize, they're not, they're not there to be weaponized.
Right. They are tools to help you dig for gold, not a weapon to help you rob someone. Right. It's very, very clear demarcation there. So to me, using these tools rooted in genuine, genuine curiosity and a genuine desire to relate with the other Right? A. K. A. the person that you're talking to, speaking with, right?
That genuine curiosity is largely what I'm speaking about when I ask, Are you considerate? Because I do think that to consider other people, in general, in order to consider other people, the first step is that you have to have awareness that other people have a different experience. Otherwise, you wouldn't be curious.
Like it's the same as me. So if you're starting to be, to be considerate, it to me is rooted in, in curiosity. All right. So actually the definition of considerate is, well, the definition that I like the most is showing awareness or regard for another's feelings, circumstances, et cetera. And while it is given, taking that at face value, Yeah, I think it could be easier to show regard for those feelings when they're the exact same.
Uh, what I'm looking at and what I'm talking about and what I'm asking you about is how do you do that for other people, understanding that they're probably different. We could assume that they may be similar, but you know, this is the beauty in my opinion of, of what Rachel spoke about and what, uh, Dr. J Pop and what UC spoke about is that you should not assume.
And I think that, you know, we saved Uchenna, we saved UC for last because it was a sexy time talk. And I think people really got it with that word.
Different, right? So J pop actually spoke specifically about, you know, how people can be in the same situation and experiencing the same situation, but experiencing completely different things, right? And why is this? Because they look different because they were raised different because they have different beliefs because society treats them differently, right?
Just a zillion different things, different reasons as to why two people in the same situation can be having completely different experiences. We, therefore. Cannot assume or rather perhaps we should be very cautious with our assumptions about what this person is experiencing. Right? So if I put the business hat back on, I'm going to ask, are you considering that?
Are you considering all of this that I'm saying? So perhaps you're saying, am I considering what exactly? And who exactly? This is a lot. My answer, everything with everyone. Hear me out here. So during boss up, I made it a point, um, actually did a, like a little bit of an audible. And decided to really, uh, focus one part of my, my section on email marketing.
Uh, I was going to do it on something different. And I was like, you know what? I really want people to know how important this is. So I'm going to actually dedicate this session to email marketing. And afterwards, at the end, at the fully, at the end of boss up, one of the attendees, Karuna, um, she listened to this, watching this, you know, real MVP.
Uh, she came up to me and she said that. On my slide, she noticed that I had written, consider the reader. And she was like, I don't know if we did this intentionally, but you said reader. And that was super freeing to me. And I was like, I didn't do it intentionally. I did it very unintentionally, but like, that's just how my brain is working.
And she was just like, you know, I've always been coached and traditionally we are coached to write to the consumer or the customer, right? That's, that's who we're thinking is on the other side of this email. That's the recipient. And we, we frame it as that. And in me using the word reader, it freed her because.
It reminded her that she's writing to a person. And I think that when, you know, it's my belief that when we remember that we're engaging with a person. We allow that curiosity to come in and we start thinking about what that person might want when we go in thinking customer, consumer, client is very easy to feel like we're supposed to know what they want, and perhaps even worse, that we're supposed to convince them that, you know, we have what they need.
I don't really love that, but it's the truth. It's what's it's what it's what's taught. So again, you know, so again, circle back to that. What are you considering? Who are you considering? I think that I want to boil it down to simply are you considering the fact That the person on the other side of the screen, whether you're making content, you're sending an email, writing a pod, writing a podcast, whatever, recording a podcast, uh, is a whole ass person with their own experiences, beliefs, history, and it's likely very different than yours.
So yes, this does present this mega list of things to consider and overwhelm is absolutely an option, but I think we can also flip that. And. Use it as an opportunity, view it as an opportunity to get curious, right, to ask more questions. Now, so as not to contradict with my own messaging, because I really do believe give a thousand times before you ask, I do find it kind of annoying if like you're getting emails and people constantly asking you, like, what do you want?
Or you're on social media, like, what do I want? And it's like, I just want you to just tell me shit. So in the context of, of social media and the consequences like that, I really do lean into the give a thousand times before you ask, but I think it is, it's I think that defaulting to asking questions when you're in direct conversation with somebody is your best bet.
Like I do think that questions are often more welcome than yes, you have to read the room and ask them if they'd like to. Questions, but if they're like, I don't fucking want to ask me questions. I don't want to fucking be asked questions that don't have some questions. Um, but when you're not in direct conversation with people and you're making any kind of content, I think you can simply ask yourself the question.
Of, of, you know, how. Am I being considerate of other people here? Am I considering other viewpoints and experiences here? And start thinking about how someone who's not like me might interpret this, right? How someone who is not like me might feel about this and then try to go from there. Yes, it is a lot of guessing.
So I'm not trying to, like, I don't want you to make these harsh assumptions, but I do think that rooting this in curiosity and just thinking like, Hey, how might this be interpreted? And maybe then you. explain things a little bit differently, or you have more open endedness. You're just like, hey, this is just my experience and here's what I'm thinking with this.
And we're not looking to so impart our own will, uh, on other people. I will say though, that not everyone's opinion gets the matter. And I know that there's a lot going on in this episode and you're like, wait, but what do I think? You're an adult. Let's try to pick out the things that matter to you here.
Uh, and I'm always open to discussion, uh, but not everyone's opinion, not everyone's opinion gets to matter. So while I will consider other people's opinions, admittedly, my consideration of them is still gonna be biased because it's through my own lens. Um, cause I think I'm like, this is what I think that they're thinking.
Cause I can't ask them or until I can ask them, I am not trying to have, you know, be caveat central over here and be like, everyone's opinion matters. Especially those people that are assholes to me. Like, no, not everyone that opinion, not everyone's opinion gets to matter by any means. Right. Sometimes I do not want to accommodate for others and their opinions.
I know I'm thinking about James Olivia and the relate skills using those skills. You choose to relate to you choose to relate. You choose to use them. You don't have to, you don't have to want to relate. With everybody or with anybody, right? There's all a choice. I, but I do think that in general, going into your messaging, your marketing, your business, your relationships with people, your interactions with people.
I think that having that genuine curiosity as a default. We'll always work in your favor, right? So clearly the title of this episode should probably have been, are you curious? Uh, but I liked, are you considerate more and it's my podcast. So I do what I want, right? But in the spirit of being curious, I got a little question call to action for you.
I'm going to ask what podcast topics do you have in mind? I should say what podcast episode topic recommendations or requests do you have? That's a better question. Alright. Full transparency. You know, we're five, six hundred and twenty five episodes in and I'm like, I've said it all. I've said all that I have to say and I know once is never, which is also why I bring back those Thursday episodes and they, I use 'em as recasts.
But I am curious to hear what specifically you'd like for me to riff on, because I don't know, so I'm gonna ask. All right, so shoot me a DM, text me 310 737 2345, I would love to hear from you. All right, big, big, big, extra big thank you in advance. Looking at the time, it's a nice short episode. Hope you enjoyed it.
Until next time, friends, maestro out!
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