[Transcript starts at 0:40]
Hello, hello, hello, my podcast people and thank you for joining me for yet a another episode of my favorite podcast. If you are listening, tuning in, watching on the day that it drops, it is Monday, June 23rd. Welcome to the end of June. But it's still Pride Month. Happy pride. Side note, this is episode 670, which to me is pretty fucking awesome.
We are not gonna hit 700 this year, believe it or not. Uh, 6 97 will be the end, the last episode of 2025, which will release on December 29th. But it's still really cool to me if nothing else, and I'm consistent. Uh, but today we're talking about how to make people. Care. This episode inspired by a protest that I went to last weekend.
So let's use that as little segue, springboard, uh, to jump into the life and business updates or business life updates. And then we'll get into the full episode. So the business updates, pride, swag, it's done well, the logo is done, the mockups are done, and that means that hopefully God willing. The link to purchase will be in the show notes for this episode.
I know I've been promising it. I was working on it. It took longer. It took, I had to learn a whole new, I shouldn't say I'd learn a whole new program. I didn't even know an editing program that's, I've never been, I don't do like graphic design and, uh, I decided to do it this time. Um, and I had to learn. I used one with fin affinity designer, uh, and.
It took me some time. It took me some time. I'm not gonna lie. I tried to have AI help me, and the problem is like when it spits out, you can't edit. And it wasn't terrible, but it just wasn't exactly what I wanted. So I was like, all right, I'm gonna fucking do it, but I gotta like learn this thing. But I did have chat JT help me learn how to use.
The, the program and, uh, I'm really, really happy with how it came out. But the mockups have been sent out. I sent 'em to Lex, Lex sent them over to the swag people, so hopefully we hear back from them. And the link to buy is in the show notes, and you can get your gay on by the time this episode drops.
Fingers crossed, uh, life updates. Keep the business updates short and life updates short 'cause it's gonna be a, based on the outline I wrote. It's gonna be a little of a longer episode. So we'll keep the little, uh, updates shorter life updates. Maybe you can hear it. Oops, I hit the mic. I have a little bit of sickness still going on, but basically I'm all good.
Um, I, I got this like really weird pulsating back of the head. It almost felt like an reciprocal, like neuralgic kind of, it was very unpleasant. Um, that was the last thing. And so I actually sound stuffy today because I did the Neti Pot, which always makes me sound like this, but it got rid. 90% got rid of that stuff that's going on in the back of my head.
So I am in good spirits and have high hopes for that. Um, Lex and I leave Harshad Guad in two weeks when this episode drops. It'll actually be in one week, but the time I'm recording it, it'll be, it's two weeks away, so that's pretty fucking cool. I'm still for the volleyball, get to see the international players live, which we never have done.
Um, to go so to travel with Lex, we've never traveled that far. Uh, we haven't left the country, uh, have we? Mm. No, have not. Um, and I haven't traveled this far in quite a bit. I traveled lot for work and I haven't traveled since COVID. Um, so I was just excited to be able to do all of that. Um, already missing Rupe, already missing Ruby and Moie.
Um, but Justin is coming with Carly and so everything's gonna be really good. So, uh. The big life update, however, and the segue into today's main topic, which is how to make people care, is that I went to the No Kings protest last Saturday and it was. Fucking awesome. Or this past Saturday, two Saturdays ago.
By the time you listen to this, um, if you don't know what, uh, that was the no Kings protests took place on Saturday, June 14th. And they were organized in response to the fact that Trump is a piece of shit, uh, and was chosen, you know, that that day was chosen because that's the day that he was holding a $45 million military parade birthday parade nonsense.
Um, yeah, his nonsense, uh. It took place in more than 2000 cities with more than 5 million participants. Now this is like the media, doing the media stuff. I'm seeing sources that say 5 million the day of people were talking about. And I was seeing sources as high as 10, 11, 12, 13 million. So suffice to say, a lot of fucking people went to this.
A lot of people attended across the country. Um, and this was my first ever protest and, uh. It was amazing. I went to the one, uh, in a town very close, very nearby, called Torrance. I'm with my friend Pam. I actually first spoke about Pam in episode 6, 6 57 back in March. We'll link that. Thank you, Courtney.
Thank you Joe. Um, and this was her third protest and. With each one that she's gone to. She invites all of us, when I say all of us, it's the group that, you know, gathered at her house, the volleyball group, and she does so in, in a very non pushy way. Um, hint, hint, that is an important part for the main point of today's episode.
Uh, but she sent out a GroupMe message last week, uh, with her same super informal ask. Just acknowledging to the, that the volleyball group where she asked, she was like, it's a super safe face. We're all in this together. There's zero pressure. I'm going to this thing if you wanna join. Um, and no one took her up on it.
Her friend and her friends were, my nose is itching so much. Her friends were, uh, were busy as well. Um, but I felt different about it this time. And so on Tuesday, I texted her and I asked her what her plans were. And she said she was gonna go, uh, but she was gonna go alone and she was gonna be safe. And I was like, you know what?
I'll go, I'll go with you. She didn't bug me about it. She didn't remind me about it, you know? She was like, what? For real? Amazing. But she didn't ask any questions. She wasn't like, why? What's different? She, she was just like, that's awesome. And told me, you know, on Saturday I texted her, I was like, we're leaving, you know, we'll meet at your house.
She's like, yep, we'll meet at my house. I'll, I'll drive and. That was it, right? She said, where we're gonna go? She said what she'd bring, and that was it. She was never pushy. She never made a big deal about it. And mind you, you know, Pam and I do talk very regularly. We text very regularly. She sends me political articles and memes and things like that.
We go back and forth and like I send them back and forth. I should, I should say, or we send them back and forth. I. Um, but she's never pushy about anything. She's just curious and just Pam and it's great. So we go to the protest, uh, we drive up the main street and this is her routine. She's like, I forgot to tell you, this is my favorite part.
We drive up this main street and the whole street is line with people and she's honking her horn and everyone's driving and just honking their horn and people are raving the flags and just like, it's amazing. And immediately as we, as we're driving, she's like, holy shit, this is way more people than the previous two times.
She's like, this is like way, way, way more people. She's pumped, I'm pumped. The cars around us are pumped. The people lining the street are pumped. Everyone is just, it's, it's electric. It's positive. It, it was amazing. So we park, we walk over. She's an American flag. I have a little sign that she made from a previous protest that just says like, say no to King.
It's nothing crazy. Right. It's my first protest. Um, and we spent the next couple of hours just going between like the speeches and cheering with folks and on the side of the road and, you know, cheering with the cars and, and largely just, just watching, right? And just being president and just taking it in.
It was amazing. Like. It was amazing. I didn't take any pictures because what I had read is like, realistically this is like not a photo opportunity and your best bet if you are gonna go is like, only take pictures of yourself. 'cause you just like, don't know who's there and like people, you don't wanna put like people up on the internet.
And I was like, I get, it's not like a photo opportunity, um, but the experience is burned into my brain. Like, I took a few pictures from the back of just like, of the flagpole and like a sign, and I took two videos to show Lex. I didn't like put 'em on social or me or anything like that, right? But I'm not gonna lie, based on what I was reading and, and everything and, and, and going in, I was a bit nervous, especially since that morning, two government officials were assassinated in Minnesota.
Uh, two more were shot and wounded and. Lead the days leading up, Trump had been using, you know, trying to use LA as a, uh, as to make an example out of us. Um, but going there, it was the farthest thing from scary or mean, or angry, yes. If something bad was gonna happen, it would be, you know, fairly catastrophic.
But that's how I always feel when there's a lot of people in one place. Like when I think when I go to a concert and things like that, I'm just like, holy shit, if something goes down. It's gonna be bad. When I used to live in New York City to drive through the tunnels or on the bridge, I was like, especially in the tunnel though, I was like, if something goes down, it's gonna be like so, so bad.
But there were a ton of families there, a ton of kids. There were so many clever signs. People are so clever. People were clapping, they were cheering each other on. People were honking their horns in a good way. If you've ever been part of a, you know, played a sport, especially a high school sport, and you've been part of a caravan, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
It's like the best energy, just such good energy, you know, and, and. Just driving down that main road when we first got there, before we even parked right, and we're honking and all of my fears and concerns and worries went away and I was just like, this is amazing, and I'm so glad that. I'm here and I'm so glad that you invited me, Pam, and I'm so glad that you went first and twice and thrice and now you know, I I'm here with you.
It really, it really, you know, largely felt like when I first went to Pride, um, in, in New York City, and it's just like the, the visibility and you're like, we're not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not fucking crazy. I just all get all these other people and it's positive. Like, it's not like, it's like group other people and they're all angry and mad and like.
You know, like they are upset. People are absolutely upset, but they're like, it was full of love and just we want change and like this is fucked up. It, it was amazing. So that was part of the reason I. That I, that I chose to go this time, right? The, the, the fact that there were tons of families and it was objectively very safe.
So on the way over Pam, we were having a conversation and Pam, it's just like a, you know, 10, 12 minute drive. Pam asked why I chose to go this time, and I had a few reasons. One, I'm fucking fed up like that, overpowered any fear that I had, like, this shit is fucked up. Everything that's going on right now is fucked.
We cannot be snatching people off the streets. We cannot just be like, oh, due process. Nope, we're not giving, Nope. It's fucked up. Fucked up. Like people are literally being snatched off the streets. You know? I stay talking about privilege and how we all have it, right? Relative privilege is a very real thing, and that we have an opportunity when we have this privilege to do something with it.
My privilege is that I can go to something like this and it'll be safe. Like I knew Torrance would be safe. There's another one, El Segundo. I was like, it's gonna be safe. I live in a very affluent area. There's a lot of white people and there's no history because of that. There's no history of police brutality or anything like that.
Like it's fine. Like we saw like a, a few police officers and then that was it. Like they didn't even like really around like it was nothing very safe, no escalation. Of any sort. Third reason I went seeing such overt racism like we're seeing with this immigration scare tactics in a place where I live, Los Angeles.
I know I'm saying it how we say it, but that is, that is a Hispanic word. Los Angeles, right? I live in Los Angeles County. More specifically Redondo Redondo. I gotta say something. I can't be like, yeah, like I'm cool with this. Or like, oh, I'm not making excuses. Like even though I live in a place that's clearly, those people have way more tie and maybe more right to this place.
Like, what the fuck? The first reason I went, I saw Pam go first. I saw Alyssa, you know my, I call her volleyball partner. L my volleyball partner now. But before Ali, it was Alyssa. Alyssa. Wow. Elisa. I just had like a brain fart there. I'm gonna blame that pain that's in the back of my neck. That's only, it's still 10% there.
All right. I saw Pam go first. I saw Elisa go with Pam. I saw J-Pop go before that. Like Chick J-Pop was born protesting, I think as a baby. She was just like out there with this time. Like this is, and that's something that I said that I would never do where like, don't ever say never. And I, but I saw these people go first and I saw how much it mattered to them and that that affected me.
And the fifth reason I went is, so I was ready. Like I was ready. So on the way home we were talking, you know, Pam stays super passionate about everything and she was just like, how can I make my friends care? The ones who seem to be acting like nothing is even happening right now? And I was like, straight up, Pam.
And this is the main point of this episode. You can't, you cannot. It's that hole. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink thing. Right? I dunno if you folks have ever seen, uh, Wolf of Wall Street, but there's a scene in it where he's training one of the newbies and he's like, sell me this pen.
Sell me this pen. And the newbie's like, oh, we're trying to see all the features. And he's like that. And then he brings in one of the, the senior dude, Jonah Hill, right? He brings him in. The senior dude is Jonah Hill. He brings him in and he's like. Sell me this pen. And Jonah Hill immediately goes, so how long you been in the market for a pen?
And, and he goes, I'm not. And Jonah goes, well get the fuck outta here. Stop wasting my time. Right. Like, you can't make people care. You cannot. Which maybe, and when I say maybe, I think definitely is one of the most difficult parts of everything that's going on right now, is that one of the questions that's bouncing around, bouncing out, around, out there and then maybe in your head is, how do you make.
People care about other people. And also like I have to make people care about other, why don't they care about other people? Why don't people care about other people? How do you make people have empathy like you can't White, which feels pretty kind of fucked and kind of demoralizing, but there are things you can do.
You cannot make someone care, in my opinion, but you can make caring contagious. So a few things you can do. First you go first. First you go first. I talked about this a bunch, right? If you've listened to any of the episodes, I probably said it in one way, shape, or you know, one way or another, right? If you want people to do something, do it first yourself and do it a bunch of times.
Eventually people, some people will come along, right? Lead by example. If you ever want anyone to do anything, literally anything, you want them to exercise more, you want 'em to start walking. You want 'em to go to bed earlier. You want them to write consistently to their email list. You want them to make a podcast, whatever the fuck.
It's. Do it first and do it consistently. Uh, they will come along eventually. Second thing is show how much you care. This ties into that idea of, of keep going, right? If it matters to you and you matter to that person, there's a chance that they start paying more attention to it, right? They can and they can tell you care 'cause you continue to do this thing.
Signal safety. I show people that it's safe to care. You go first and they get to see what happens. And yes, it can be unsafe to care, there can be downsides, but at some point the downsides become less scary than the possibility of whatever you're fighting against actually coming to fruition. Right?
There's also something to be said about safety and numbers, right? And just showing people you're not alone. Other people think like this. Other people feel the same way. You are not alone, right? The process was huge for this. Pride is huge for this. Get your swag, get your pride, swag. Next, normalized caring.
This is huge, especially in these propaganda ass times, right? Part of fascist propaganda is making caring seem cringe. I'm gonna drop the link to a real, uh, this woman did. That was really, really good. Um, Courtney, thank you jojo. Thank you. When you make carrying seem cringe, people are like, oh, I don't wanna seem weird.
I like when you turn carrying into a meme, people are like, oh, I don't wanna do that when that's exactly what we need to do. Is we need to care, right? So we have to normalize, caring, normalize having empathy right out. Elon's out here being like empathy is the biggest weakness. That is fascist propaganda 1 0 1.
Encourage folks to figure out what they care about, right? You can't care about everything. And overwhelm is usually, and quite often the response for many people, especially when there's just so much going on and they're like, what am I supposed to do? And it's like, pick what you care about. And dive in. I went all, you know, went through this and, and dove deep into this, uh, in episode 6 48, inspired by Sharon McMahon, AKA Sharon says, so we will link that.
Thank you, Courtney. Thank you, jojo. Next option, lower the barrier and reduce friction. This is exactly what Pam did, right? This is what this protests did, right? It allowed, it allows you to meet people where they are at, right? Maybe it's a book you give them, maybe it's a podcast, maybe it's a post. Maybe it is a, a protest, but you're like, I'm gonna do all the work.
You just have to show up. Just come to my house and I will do everything else. Right. And when I say that, it lowers that the protests themselves lower the barrier is because, and we're gonna get into this, get into this in a little bit that like some people listening and, and, and hearing how I describe, how I describe the protest may be like, that sounds like a fucking parade.
And they're not wrong. Right? This wasn't some super scary, like, you know, I am, I think I'm gonna get, you know, a dead. So I was willing to go, even though it was possibility, it was like a very small possibility because of where I live. And you know, just how, just how it went. And that's, that's a great starting point for people.
That's a great introduction to participatory democracy. Validate quiet care, right? Showing up doesn't have to look a certain way, doesn't have a singular aesthetic. Um, but real talk, it is time to start showing up in some kind of way. But how, what that looks like. It could be a multitude of things, right?
Celebrate when people do act. J-Pop gassed me the fuck up. I texted her afterwards and I was just like, thank you for being so patient for all these years and never like expecting and demanding more in a way that was offputting, right? And, and she truly, truly fucking celebrated me. Like she was like, oh my God, I'm so proud.
How do you feel like we just talked? And it was just great. It makes you feel seen, it makes you feel like it matters. It makes you feel like you wanna do it again. And you wanna make that person proud, right? It's that whole like, you know, extrinsic to intrinsic motivation. Uh, what do you wanna call it? Uh, what is that?
I can't think of the word, but you know, what I'm talking about is the transition from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation. And lastly, you, yourself keep showing up without expecting that other person to show up. Consistency shows that you care. Right. They care about you. You care about this thing. There's room for craver, carryover and crossover, right?
And remember, you're not doing this thing because you want them to care anyway. You're doing it because you care. So focus on that and allow that person to, to take the time that they need and allow just the time that it takes you allow that time to pass.
So the last thing I wanna say about this is regarding that time piece. Something that I saw on social media, uh, and it was by some folks, and when I say some folks, I mean people who have studied this, have they studied protesting? Um, they've, you know, they've studied, uh, both. What is the word? Peaceful non-violent protests.
They've studied how to actually enact change. They've studied, you know, fascist regime regimes and authoritarianism, um, but namely black women. And there, these, these, these women were actively critiquing the pro protests and saying that they were more like parades than pro than protests. And they're not wrong.
And they're not wrong. Especially the one that I went to. I can't say all of 'em, but you know, the one I went to, not wrong, they were critiquing it and, and saying like, there needs to be. More action or needs to be directed more towards action, that has to be a direct impact on things. There is a thread by Feminista Jones about peaceful versus nonviolent protests.
I will drop that link in the show notes. Thank you, Jojo. Thank you, Courtney. Um, but I'll just read it as well. Peaceful equals standing on the corner of a government office. Nonviolent equals blocking the entrances to that building to prevent them from going to work. Peaceful equals honking in support as you drive by protesters on a corner, nonviolent equals creating a blockade with cars to prevent ice vehicles from leaving their depots slash garages.
It makes sense, right? This is where we're, where we, we see the, it's more than the binary. There's nuance. It's both hand, right? Both parties are right in terms of you. You gotta start somewhere. And also we gotta move in the direction of direct action. Direct action. That directly impacts and changes things, right?
We gotta get people like myself to see that they're not alone. That is a start. We have to start there. You can't just be like, oh, now go and run into rubber bullets. Like, it's like it's too much. People are not gonna do it. We gotta do any of the nine things that I listed out before, right? We cannot make someone care, but you can go first and then we can make that caring contagious.
So it is important for me to, to bring up that point. And if you saw any of the, you know, critiquing of the protests, they're right. But protests like this can be a phenomenal springboard to so much more because people are like, holy shit, I'm not alone. Especially in places where you can feel like that.
Like I don't know about here. I live in a very affluent place. It's not Orange County, right? There's not like massive Trump signs everywhere, but I don't know, people have a lot of money and oftentimes when people have a lot of money, they tend to vote red for better or for worse. But to go to that neighboring town, it's literally 12 minutes away.
I could ride my bike there and to see this turn, there was easily between 10 and 20,000 people there. It was massive, and suddenly you're like, okay, I'm not alone. There's some safety in that, right? It's some comfort in there. It's a starting point, and you're like, all right, what's the next thing? Right?
It's the both end. This is not done. The work is not done. So if you're watching this and you're like, I want two done, spoiler not done. Just getting started, right? But this is if you went and then you perhaps know and you felt it. This is like a ton of momentum and a ton of, of tangible proof that we can do things and we can do the next thing.
So Lex, Lex didn't come. With us. Uh, she was invited, but she didn't come and I did keep her updated the whole time on how it was going. Um, I texted her when I got there and she was, you know, asking, she's like, how's it going? How are you doing? I was like, totally safe. And I told you I took two videos and I sent her the videos and she was rightfully, you know, worried me going in.
She's like a little bit nervous about you going like, there people were assassinated this morning. I was like, I know. Um, but I sent her the two videos and I was just texted her and I was just like. This is amazing. It's absolutely amazing. I'm so glad that I went and after as started the second video she wrote, happy for you.
Maybe I'll go next time.
Alright, I am going to wrap it up there. This episode wasn't as long as I thought it was gonna be, so that's good. Talk faster. I was excited about this. Um, but make sure go get that fucking pride, swag. Pay a gay, right? Why pay all those other companies when you can pay me a gay directly, uh, and go make caring, contagious, as always, endlessly, endlessly appreciative for every single one of you.
Until next time, friends Maestro. Ow.
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Get your gay on with Maestro Pride Swag (Coming soon!)
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“Is protesting cringe?” Reel
Peaceful vs. non-violent protests
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