[Transcript starts at 1:23]
Hello, hello, hello, my podcast people and thank you for joining me for yet another episode of my favorite podcast. If you're watching it, you see me, but it's a little different to you because it's nighttime. And so we're using the lights. I did the best I could. I did the best I could. If you're listening to this when it drops, it's Thursday, November 2nd.
Holy smokes. Welcome to November. Hope October was good for you. Quick announcement. Doors for Legacy applications close tomorrow. That'll be Friday, November 3rd at 11 59 PM Pacific. For those of you that don't know, you're probably not going to join anyway. So maybe I should skip this part, but as a reminder, Legacy is the six month mentor mind that I run with my best friend, my bestie Jill Fit.
Um, it's for, it's for, excuse me, female intermediate plus online business owners who quite frankly want to level up their online business. Uh, our promise to you is that you will have your biggest launch ever, plain and simple. Uh, We've been talking about it a bunch, episode on Monday was all about it.
Business and Bullshit, four part episode series that we did was all about it. So there's a good chance you know about it. Just reminding you, if you need to feel the heat on your feet, the, the, the heat is here. Doors or applications close tomorrow. But let's hop on into the episode. I'm stoked about this one.
It actually took me quite some time to write this, this outline out and kind of flesh things out, um, for this. And I want to talk about what actually matters, not how to determine what actually matters, but just simply what actually matters. The title episode is what actually matters is terrible for SEO.
I don't give a fuck because it doesn't matter to me. Right. Making it meta. Also, this is my podcast. I do what I want and, uh, that in mind the point of this episode is simply that things only matter as much as they matter to you. All right? Quite simply stated, it only matters as much as it matters to you.
This is not a nihilistic approach where nothing matters. And actually I did an episode, episode 42, 492, and it was entitled A Nihilistic Approach to Online Business. And even then it was the same concept of everything can work. It's not that nothing matters, it's that everything can work and what matters is what works for you.
Similarly, similarly stated for this episode, what matters is what matters to you. Everything matters to someone. Anything can matter to someone. What matters is what matters to you. And things only matter as much as they matter to you. I have been thinking about this for a very long time and I was moved to finally create this episode, I think largely out of frustration.
I was going through my Clifton strength finder again. I'm going to bring Allegra on. We'll talk more about that, but either way, my fourth strength is activator. And if you haven't taken this test, I will link it in the show notes. I have no like association with them, but this shit is dope. Uh, but anyway, my fourth strength is activator.
And one of the thing it says after activator is people who are especially talented, talented in the activator theme can make things happen by turning thoughts into action. They are often impatient. It me. It. Me. I absolutely have the patience for the long game, especially when it's I'm doing the thing, but I have no patience for not getting started.
I have no patience for not doing the thing. I have no patience for taking forever to get started. It's a bad trait, but I think it's fine, but some folks would say it's a bad trait. So this ties into this episode about what matters because I just want people to lean into what matters to them and do the thing.
Fucking get started. Marketers will try to convince you that the thing they're selling is the thing that matters the most. And it does to them. It matters the most to them. Anything and everything can work, right? If you want to really get kind of like granular with this and make it applicable to online business, anything and everything can work and it matters to them.
I have a way that I like doing things and I encourage things to be done because it matters to me, not because it's the only way to do things. And I just sit people, sit people, wow. I sit here watching people, just not get started because they're like well, that matters. This matters. What matters more? What's the best?
Just fucking get started. You will figure out what matters the most to you. My goal is not to convince other folks that something should matter to them or that this thing that I'm doing, it should matter to them. No. No, if you've seen that movie, you know that movie. I'm here to share what matters the most to me and then simply invite others for whom it also matters, or to whom it also matters.
I received a great DM today from my girl Meg Kopelle Duffy. Y'all know I love her, I've brought her on twice already. Let's link those episodes. Where's you, Courtney? You're the best. Uh, I brought, I got a great DM from Meg today as a follow up to, so I did a post this morning, or yesterday maybe, I think?
Um, either way, it'll be in the past from when this episode comes out. And the post said exactly what I've been saying this episode, which is it only matters as much as it matters to you. And Meg… Was like, hey, you know, here's a soft suggestion for a follow up. Don't get so bent out of shape if it doesn't matter other people.
And she went on to say, I'm going to quote her verbatim, If I got upset at the lack of interest in the cerebellum and my dogs, I'd be depressed every day. And I fucking love that. She nailed it, right? Like… If it matters to you, lean in, lean all the way in and then don't get all bent out of shape if it doesn't matter to somebody else, it doesn't matter to them.
It is what it is. If it matters to you, lean in until it doesn't, and then you can lean out. All right. I'm thinking about Tina right now. Chick will spend a million hours color grading stuff because it matters to her. I'm thinking about Lex and SEO and I'm like, all the things she'd be geo tagging. I don't even know half the stuff.
I don't know. Doing stuff on pictures and I'm like, okay, lean in. It matters to you. I'm thinking about folks who are obsessed with onboarding systems. I'm not, I don't think they matter that much, but it matters to them. And I'm like, cool, then lean in. If it's going to get you to do the thing and you're passionate about it, lean in.
You get one life. Lean all the fuck the way in. Again though, lean in and don't get bent out of shape if it doesn't matter to other people. This can be tough when you're trying to make a business out of the thing that matters to you. The reality is it doesn't have to matter to anybody else. I'm actually, make this meta, I'm actually wearing a shirt right now.
Yes, of course I'm wearing a shirt now, but if you want, if you're watching on Instagram, wow, if you're watching on YouTube, this shirts that I'm wearing, I never wear the shirt as part, you know, I wear like a uniform basically, little Maestro shirt when I record these. And I don't have that, I have, this is one of my favorite shirts.
If you're looking, it's one of my favorite shirts. But I'm wearing it because I went and did a photo shoot today with Jill. Um, if you've listened to the past episodes, you know that I was talking about the fucking photoshoot. I didn't really want to do it, but that shit doesn't matter to me. Photos and professional photos doesn't fucking matter to me.
But it matters to Jill. And the photoshoot mattered to Jill. The photos mattered to Jill. Alright, she's doing the sales page for Legacy. And so here we are. Because she matters to me. And so I was like, cool, I'll do that. Alright. I know I've been on a tear about brand shoots and brand photos and professional photos and it all being bullshit and it all being made up.
Because it is. It is. But I feel this way because the activator in me sees people not doing the thing because they're too busy being told what matters or what should matter, and they're torn, like, but I can't do this thing, but it only matters as much as it matters to you. And if it matters, then go fucking figure it out, right?
If you're like, well, no, those things do matter to me, then don't let that be what stops you. Go fucking figure it out. Hire someone, learn something, go on YouTube, I don't care. Do the thing.
Second half of that is that it only matters as much as it matters to you and that is life. That is okay. The same way that there's no need to try to convince other people that these things should matter you don't need to convince yourself.
Not everything is going to matter to you, and that's okay. Not everything is going to matter in the same amount or at the same time. That's okay.
The last thing I'm going to say, because this has also been on my mind and part of the reason I'm recording this episode, is that yes, there is a lot going on in the world right now.
Real talk though, there's always a lot going on in the world. Social media brings things front and center, which like amplifies it and we feel like everything's going on and so much is going on because we're privy to it and we can like learn about it in two seconds like just with swiping our thumb. The, the second part of that is that if you have an audience, you may feel pressure that you should be talking about all the things that are happening.
Now, I addressed this in Business and Bullshit with My Bestie part four, I think. Uh, or may, yeah, yes. Part four. Uh, Jill and I talked about this. You don't have an obligation. You have an opportunity. Choice is very important. Choice is imperative. And if that thing matters to you and it really affects you and you want to speak up about the thing, speak up.
If it doesn't matter to you, if it doesn't affect you, like that is what it is. I'm watching people grapple with feeling like things should matter more to them or they should be more affected. And so the questions about how to show up when things are bad, they're interesting to me because I think the actual question is that the person is saying, I think I should feel worse about X.
That thing that's happening. What should I do? I don't feel worse. And it's okay. Not everything matters equally. Not everything affects you equally. I think the best thing that we can do doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't make you a bad person. Some things matter more to you. They affect you more, they affect you directly.
And I think the best thing that we can do is lean into those things, lean into the things that really matter to you. And again, accept that not everything, everything cannot and will not matter equally. I think that this starts with asking yourself, What matters to me? And why? Not what should matter, but what does matter to me?
Why does it matter? I'm gonna try for a metaphor here. So bear with me. I wrote this out and I'm like, ah, I don't know if it's fully there, but bear with me. I think at these moments of reflection where we say what matters to me and why? Yes, they prevent regret because if we're always acting out of, you know, this is what I want, it's very hard to have regret when you're like, well that, that was the thing I wanted in that moment.
So yes, they can often prevent regret, but I think that these moments of reflection ultimately allow us to act on things and act on the strings that are closest to us in this very incredibly interconnected web that is human existence, right? But again, bear with me. Y'all know, maybe you don't know, but I loved Avatar and everything's connected.
I love it. When we see things on social media, It feels like we should, and it feels like we should feel more. And so perhaps we look to tug at strings that are thousands of connections away from us. They're still connected to us. Don't get me wrong. We're all connected, but they're like thousands of connections away from us.
And when we try to do that and affect that string and tug on that string, I think the most that yields is like that single action where like we're acting out of obligation or we're acting out of, um, kind of this external motivation, this shame, this guilt, right? That is a motivating factor. When we look at the spectrum of going from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation, that, that first level of like shame, guilt, like, It does motivate you to take action.
And I don't want to say that it's a bad thing, but it typically, it's not sustainable. And we may only get that one action, which is, which for some, maybe you're like, that's all I wanted. It's all needed. Amazing. Fine. But if we tug on the strings that are more directly connected to us, including the ones that are within us when we're asking ourselves what actually matters to me and then we tug on that string, those tugs create immediate unravelings or immediate cinchings that directly affect us and they keep our attention there. So we keep coming back to them. All right. We keep paying attention to them. Keeps us coming back.
It keeps us doing more. So to me, I think the action item is you think about what actually matters, what most matters, and you act there. So for example, if you're like family matters to me. Yes, seeing these things that are happening that's bad, and I feel bad, but what matters to me right now, and if you're like family matters to me, then call your fucking grandparents.
Call your mom. Call your sister, your siblings, your whoever, and say hi.
The things that you know matter. Lean in. In the way that feels good and lean all the way in. Yes. There's a counter argument here to be made. Cause this is how, this is how I write things. And this is how I think about things. It's like, okay, here's my thought. What's the counter argument. Does it hold true all the time?
And I think a counter argument here, someone might say is that if you go to the extremes and people are only doing what matters to them, then no one would help anyone else because they're so focused on themselves and I'm like. That's not my point here. My point is simply that different things matter to different people, and people matter to people, for sure.
And I think when we encourage everyone to focus on the things that matter to them, things will get taken care of. People will get taken care of. Yes, it's probably going to be based on, you know, proximity, and I think about nature because there is the things that are more interconnected. They're ultimately all connected, but yes, the things that are more directly connected, yes, they have to take care of each other.
And then that kind of lends itself to the next ones, and the next ones, and the next ones. And I think that ultimately caring about things, right? When we, when we lean into what matters to us and we give ourselves permission to care about those things and really act on those things, it creates empathy and it creates the capacity to care about other things, including things that matter to other people. And today, it's okay for certain things to matter more to you than other things. That's life. I think the best thing you can do is lean into the things that matter.
I'm not sure that I, I know that I'm like circling the itch, but this still did convey so much of what I'm feeling and so much of what I'm thinking.
I'd love to hear from you. You want to text me 310 737 2345. Let me know just anything. Just talk, text, but don't, don't call me. Texting. That's what matters to me. Text. Um, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. Alright, shoot me a DM. But the point of this episode again is simply that, in my humble opinion, it only matters as much as it matters to you. And if it matters to you, it matters.
So lean in, spend less time focusing on what you think should matter or how to act based on what should matter, you think supposed to matter, and spend more time simply leaning into what actually matters. Right.
Going to wrap it up there. Don't forget applications for legacy close manana. That means tomorrow, Friday, November 3rd at 11 59 PM.
Pacific. No reviews to read or anything like that because I didn't get any new ones, but also I didn't want to go back I wasn't sure about how long this episode would take but we're gonna cut it short. Shorter. Give you some time to think and maybe some time to respond to me. Or maybe some time to leave a review or a rating or just go on with your day, whatever you want.
Either way, thank you for tuning in. Thank you for giving me the space, the time, the attention to uh, kind of flesh this out and talk through this because it's been on my mind and I probably will revisit this again but happy to get this off my, off my chest with this first pass. So as always, endlessly, endlessly, endlessly appreciative for every single one of you.
Until next time friends, Maestro out.
Watch this episode on YouTube!
Doors close for LEGACY tomorrow
Take the Clifton Strengths Finder Test
MOTM #492: A Nihilistic Approach to Online Business
MOTM #150: Pilates For Neurological Conditions with Meghann Koppele Duffy
MOTM #502: Every Client is a Neuro Client with Meghann Koppele-Duffy
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