Full Transcript: MOTM #472 Canceling Cancel Culture

[Transcript starts at 1:11]

Hello, hello, hello my podcast people and thank you for joining me for yet another episode of my favorite podcast. Today we are talking about cancel culture. I am excited about this episode. I have not delved? Dove? Talked about this topic, um, but I've been thinking about it a bunch and have had some recent conversations and interactions that have just made me be like, I need to say something.

And this is not in an attempt to coerce you to feel any kind of way or to think any kind of way, but the way that I process things and one of my outlets is speaking and writing and creating. And so here I am speaking, writing, cuz I wrote the outline, and creating this, to talk about cancel culture.

So before I jump into that, the day that this episode drops will be Thursday, May 4th, which is one day after Rupert's Gotcha Day. I got Rupert on May 3rd, 2020. He is, let's see, he was one when I got him, so he will be four, I think like four and four years, and three months. But like, I don't know how they actually know, but either way, I believe when I got him it said it was one, one year and three months old. Uh, so, yeah. That guy is literally my best friend.

He has changed my life. He's changed how I, what I do, how I view things, just how I am and just I love him more than I can express. And, uh, if you listen to Micah's podcast, ep podcast episode, um, we'll link that in the show notes, actually. I've been getting some really good feedback on that episode. I did.

Uh, Micah's podcast is called, Uh, Ink Medicine. Micah is a tattoo artist that I know from Instagram, and it was a phenomenal discussion. Just talked about things that I have never talked about on any podcast before, including my own. And, uh, one of the conversations was about like, how I, I'm kind of like, not a, not a doomsday prepper, but like I be thinking about worst case scenarios and how am I gonna handle that?

And like, if something happened in this apartment, how am I gonna get Rupert out? And so we went into that and, um, that's where the connection there was. But people have been listening, getting really good feedback. Uh, so if you wanna listen to that, that would be awesome. Um, we'll link that in the show notes. Thank you, Courtney.

But Rupert's Gotcha Day. Love that guy. And just wanted to share that, shout that out, because this is my podcast and yeah, I could do what I want.

So we are gonna talk about cancel culture and like I said, this episode is inspired by recent interactions and conversations I've had where folks are coming to me and they are absolutely terrified.

Terrified to do what I considered just to be some of the most benign things on social media, or to show up in what I consider to be some of the most benign ways. And they're fearful that they're gonna get canceled. And they're not even being like, oh, I'm gonna go and like state my opinion on this thing.

They're just like, I don't wanna show my face. I don't wanna like say anything like. And I'm like, what? What happened? Like what? And they're like, I'm worried that something's gonna get misconstrued or misinterpreted and I'm gonna get canceled. And you know, hopefully the first thing that comes to your mind is not well then it probably means that they're saying fucked up shit like, people are genuinely scared to speak and ha- and just share the fact that they can help people, right?

I'm thinking of this from a business lens. I'm not talking about, you know, people that are, that are coming to me talking about like, I'm gonna change the world. They're literally like, I just wanna say that I have this service and I can help people, but like I'm really scared to show up. And I'm like, dude, let me do an episode.

Not that it's gonna change anything, not that I'm doing this to change anything, but again, it's how I process and this is how I get things out there. And, I also just, I'm watching things in the space, man, and it ain't it. Like shaming people and watching people just be genuinely scared to show up, that they're going to get canceled and what, who I believe to be genuinely good people. Like, you know, I'm not the, the be all, end all final decision on who's good and bad and things like that.

But I'm just like, wow, this is, we need more relating, folks. We need more. I feel like we could benefit from more relating and more discussions and more conversations.

So right off the bat, I, I clearly, I do not subscribe to cancel culture. I don't believe in cancel culture. I, I'm also very aware I'm creating this episode and recording this feeling like I am very much on the other side of cancel culture or on very much on the other side of like being canceled.

I don't worry about that. Not because I am just like the best and like above everything, but, I have also watched people do terrible things and yeah, there'll be like some backlash and things like that, but the people don't get canceled. They still have, you know, followers and subscribers, and people go to bat for them.

And I'm not saying that, oh, I could do whatever I want and I won't get canceled. It's that I believe I have shown all of you listening to this and watching this -thank you for watching- I've shown people who I really am and I, will, you know, rest in that. I'm comfortable and confident in that and you know, if I'm gonna get canceled over that, I don't care cuz I'm like, this is who I am and I believe I am a good person through and through and I, I just, I am not concerned about that.

So I am choosing to use my privilege to speak my mind and share my thoughts and, you know, not, again, not to change people, anyone's mind, but I think there's a lot of value in just sometimes just saying things and putting things out into the ether. And people are like, oh, other people think like I do, and I'm not alone.

Um, so I'm using my privilege to speak my mind and, and, and share my thoughts about cancel culture. Um, and to foreshadow the second half of this episode, I'm taking the opportunity to move towards the outside of the penguin huddle. I'm really excited to talk about that. That's gonna come in a little bit.

So I'm gonna lead off here with a solution.

If you are worried about getting, getting canceled, if you're worried about showing up on social media, my number one resource, it's not myself, it's James Olivia. I have mentioned James Olivia numerous times on the podcast. Um, their Instagram handle is inquisitive underscore human. Um, they have their four -month relational relationship skills intensive, uh, starting in in July, I believe. It's called Relate.

I took Relate last year. Um, I've done a few episodes with them. I've talked about Relate. We Can link all of those things. Thank you so much, Courtney. Um, I don't spend a lot of money on continuing ed. I'm very selective and I think a lot of the stuff is the exact same shit. Um, and I was really excited to spend money and give my money to James Olivia. Um, this is so, know very much outside of the fitness and the, um, healthcare space, or the PT space. It's outside of the traditional business and mindset stuff, and it's probably the best continuing ed if you wanna cap- consider it that. Do not ask for CEUs. It's not like that.

Um, but it's, it is probably the best continuing ed program that I've ever taken in that regard. It's worth every penny. So we will link that in the show notes. And it's not an affiliate link or anything like that, um, it's just the link to the page where you can, I think you have to apply actually for it. Um, but if you are worried about getting canceled, you're worried about showing up cause you're like, I, I am terrified of this. If you're, just wanna relate better with yourself and relate better with, not to, with other humans, look into this.

So the reason that I present this as a resource is that when we think about social media, when we think about, I'm scared to show up, I'm scared to post, I'm scared to share Stories, you're not actually scared of posting, right?

You're not- that's not the thing you're scared of. You're scared of the outcome, the potential outcome, which is what people might say. We're scared of the potential interaction. We are scared of the relating or the lack thereof relating. So yes, an action item can be well post and you know, get some exposure therapy, but, Relate, the program, the skills intensive becomes the most logical solution here, right? Learning how to trust yourself to handle the outcome of showing up on social media.

Yes, ultimately, at some point you'll have to put yourself in the situation and, you know, actually expose yourself to the stimulus. Like you'll actually have to post to like fully, become comfortable with posting and sharing and things like that.

But I want you to have the best tools possible to handle the job and, and going into the job. So my number one recommendation, hands down, James Olivia's skills Relate Skills Intensive, intensive. Right. All the things are in the show notes.

So moving forward, I titled this episode Canceling Cancel Culture largely because of the alliteration and because to me it's a personal statement.

Yes, I could say “Why I Canceled Cancel Culture”, but I just wanted to put it short and it's about my thoughts, which is what I find, the, the flip side of that is what I find is the most problematic about cancel culture. It's that it's based in, seemingly based in mob mentality. Like people have just outsourced their clinical reasoning and, um, critical thinking, and they're just like, well, everyone's saying this or other people are saying it, so I'm gonna do it.

Seth Godin talks about this in terms of, uh, reading reviews about your work, and he says, when someone says that this is the worst book I've ever read, right, let's say you wrote a book and you're looking at the reviews, if someone says, this is the worst book that I have ever read, they're right. It's personal. Their personal op opinions, their personal experience. They're right. When someone says, this is the worst book that you will ever read, they cannot possibly be right. They cannot speak for other people.

Alright? And this is where my issue comes with, with what I feel like, like I didn't like do any, you know, freaking deep dive into what is actually cancel culture. I'm, I'm saying what I feel like it is, and what I see, and what, what I'm hearing people are upset about, concerned about. Right. Colloquially understanding it as. And that's what, you know, I take issue with this, that cancel culture and people's acceptance of cancel culture very much feels like that mob mentality, right?

The, the, the solution there to me is really to emphasize thinking for ourselves, right? If you personally want to choose to not relate with someone, that's fine. That's your choice. There are plenty of people that I choose not to relate with and that I think are terrible. I don't need to go on a crusade and like put 'em on Instagram or anything like that.

I will also have discussions with people who are close to me if I see them, you know, promoting someone and I'm like, maybe they don't have all of the information that I have, so let me ask if they wanna have a discussion about this. And then that's fine if they don't. If they, or if they were like, yeah, cool, we'll have a discussion and then they're like, actually I, I've heard it and I'm gonna choose to relate or not relate, you know, based on their own information, their own choices. That's totally fine. Right? But I don't need to be out here being like, everyone should hate this person, like, I don't, I'm not gonna do that. No, alright.

Autonomy, y'all know this, autonomy is one of my values, is something that I value a lot. There's a little different there, but it's one of my values, something that I value. And it has been coming up a lot for me in, in recent discussions and in things I'm, things I'm seeing on social media and that it's kind of where that, that ties in where thinking for yourself and, you know, yeah, it's cool to have more information and more data, but at the end of the day, making decisions and, um, yeah, we'll say making decisions based on, on, on information, but based on your own personal choice there and that autonomy piece.

So I did a podcast episode. I went on a podcast recently. My girl, Laura Jean, she's @dieticianvalues on Instagram. And I love our conversations. I do not think that the episode I did with her will be out by the time this comes out.

Maybe, maybe not. If it is, we'll link it in the show notes.. If not, we obviously can't. Um, but you can follow her on Instagram and then you'll see when she does post it. Um, but we've had her on the show a few times as well. So if you could link that. Thank you, Courtney. Um, but on the episode that I did with her, I brought up the penguin story, which I think I've brought up in past episodes.

I mean, I'm, I'm certain I probably have, cuz this is episode 472, so there's a good chance I said it before, but, um, this, I'm calling it a penguin story, but it's not a, it's not a story, it's, it's actual science and fact, and this is something that I first heard from @janayathefuture um, that's the Instagram hand, that's their Instagram handle, during all the social unrest, um, during 2020 actually.

And so Janaya was talking about the fact that, and I went and Googled this to confirm as well, the fact that penguins keep themselves warm- warm. That's, that's, that was weird. Wow. Both of those were weird. weird. Warm. Penguins keep themselves warm via cycling through these large penguin huddles, right. The, we see, we've seen it. Like they're just gathered, gathering these massive groups and obviously physics here.

Science. The inside of that is the warmest, and the penguins on the inside are the warmest, and the outside is the coldest, right? The penguins on the outside are the coldest. The penguins will move from the inside, right? The penguins on the inside will move to the outside so they don't overheat, while those on the outside then move to the inside to stay warm.

And I think that distinction is actually pretty cool there. It's not that the outside's pushing in. It's the penguins on the inside being like, I have enough. Huge. I have enough. I can move to the outside. And then we see the other ones fill in from the outside. And this symbiotic relationship and this communal necessity, right? This, this community of care, I believe is what, um, Laura Jean calls it, that allows all of the penguins to stay safe, right? This is a phenomenal concept to me and something that I don't think we do as humans, and we're not doing it well at all.

So what does this have to do with cancel culture. Well, first off, cancel culture to me feels more like I'm obsessed with you culture, right?

Like, like people that are canceling other people, they just like stay talking about it and it's like doing the most. Like the thing that comes to mind is the Mariah Carey song. Like, why are you so obsessed with me? Like, literally, why, why are you talking about it so much? The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

Like why are they, you're still talking about this thing. So it really, to me, cancel culture feels like what James Olivia calls relational fuckery. That's actually one of the reasons I signed up for- actually, so with James Olivia, I signed up for their Relational Fuckery webinar workshop first, and then from there I went and signed up for Relate, um, quite, I think it was like the next year.

I think I did Relational Fuckery during 2020 maybe. Um, but that's what it feels like. It feels like relational fuckery culture where the focus has shifted to the person who they don't like and getting others to not like that person as well. Alright. It feels like a disgusting and overt power play where it's like that person has power, I, let's take it away. Who are you giving it to? Well probably give it to me because I was the one that called them out and I deserve now to be in their place. It, it very much feels like a power play. It very much feels like relational fuckery.

I am seeing many instances of this on social media, that's and I wanna, you know, take that for what it is.

Like that's the world that I live in. Maybe you're not seeing it in person, amazing if you're not. But I'm seeing instances, instances of it on social media where it feels like people are looking to invert a broken power system instead of dismantle it. Where we have folks that feel like they were on the bottom of this power system, which they probably were.

And instead of being like, this whole system is fucked. We need something new. They're just like, I'm gonna flip it on its head and now I have power and those who had power before, you're at the bottom. That will not save us. The penguins on the outside, don't push to the inside. Doesn't work that way. Because what happens if, if they did, there would be mass chaos. The ones that were on the inside, they got shoved out, they're gonna be mad. They're gonna go somewhere else. It doesn't work. It does not work.

I have a quote tattooed on my side. I shared a picture of it. I share a picture once a year of it. Uh, and it's a Buckminster Fuller quote and it reads, “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.”

This is what we need to be looking to do, in my opinion. This is what I'm looking to do. Um, I see people again who I think were on the bottom of this broken power system, and they're just looking to flip it on its head, right? They're looking to, throw people that were in the middle of the huddle, their perceived huddle, to the outside of the huddle. Not realizing, recognizing there was never a huddle.

It wasn't, and the people weren't working together. This was some broken, busted ass system, and it needs to be dismantled. And what we can look to do is cultivate one, cultivate a huddle.

All right. Of note, I I don't think that the goal needs to be to have everyone in the same huddle, right? Like if we're gonna stick with the penguin analogy, I did a little research here and emperor penguins, they're not chilling with chinstrap penguins.

They're not like, let's make a big ass huddle. Like, they don't do that. They have their own huddles. Nor are they leading crusades though, to be like, yo, fuck that chinstrap penguin. Worst. Like, they're just separate, doing their own things.

I understand we are living in a system that is like, you know, kind of forced and intertwined and things like that.

But I do think that starting to cultivate these smaller, I'm gonna use Laura Jean's word again, communities of care is, is where it starts. Um, so if we're gonna pull back, and kind of zoom out and give you the 30,000 foot view and action items for this episode, I think that there are action items for all parties relating to, or excuse me, regarding cancel culture.

If you're listening to this and you're wondering like, what can I do, again, I'm never here to be like, you should do this, you shouldn't do that, you need to do this, you need to do that. I process by writing these things out and looking for similarities and connections between things in life, and things I've experienced, and things that I think have gone well, and largely over the past few years, nature, because I'm like, nature doing it right? Nature is doing it right. Um, so you know, if you're looking for that or if you just wanna hear what I have to think. I think that there are action items for all parties that are involved regarding cancel culture.

In general, things are better when we work together, period.

And, is that weird? “Period and”. It also behooves us to think for ourselves. Please don't outsource your critical thinking.

If you personally are worried about showing up on social or showing up anywhere, showing up for yourself, showing up in life, anything like that, and you're worried that you're gonna get canceled.

And maybe this, like this is two parts here, two parties here. This doesn't just have to be the person that's like, I'm gonna get canceled cuz I'm I, um, and we think of them, we think of them as like kind and innocent and like wrongfully canceled. This could also be the party that is a dick, right? You're an asshole and maybe you realize that and you're like, ah, I'm gonna get canceled.

Uh, maybe there's like a little bit of a disconnect there where people, we think that if someone's an asshole, they're not gonna care about getting canceled, but I don't know. So if you are at all concerned about cancellation, take James Olivia's Relate Intensive. Again, I'm not an affiliate, I don't get a kickback, anything like that.

I'm just trying to cultivate a penguin circle. Alright.

Next one. If you are ready to show up, or you're showing, currently showing up, and I say this to myself, consider making showing up about simply sharing yourself and inviting people to join you, not telling people what they should do.

And lastly, if you are unhappy with how things are now in your ecosystem, in your immediate community, in the world, whatever. Don't look to invert the power dynamic. Figure out how you can cultivate a penguin huddle, and if you happen to find yourself on the inside of one, towards the middle, remember the importance of moving towards the outside and allowing the others to come on in and get warm.

All right, I'm looking at the outline, that's all that I got for this episode. Hopefully I didn't, you know, just leave you like, what the fuck did Maestro just say about a penguin and what? What? What? I got thoughts about cancel culture. Those are my thoughts about cancel culture. I never subscribed to it. I don't believe in it. You know, I've largely ignored it cause I'm just like, this is fucking stupid.

Um, but I couldn't ignore it anymore cuz I'm watching people not show up and not share that they can help. And that's problematic to me. It's very, very problematic to me. And I don't like how things are, and so this is me trying to cultivate that penguin circle. You know, one of the best parts about social media is that you can be exposed to so many different kinds of people.

It can be one of the worst things, but it can be one of the best things. And if we have the skills, I love that it's called Skills. Like James Olivia's, um, workshop. It's not a workshop. They're, they're four-month intensive. It's skills. It's things you can work on. So that we can relate to other people better and learn about them and they can learn about us, or we could choose to not relate.

That is fine too. We don't, it's not like, oh, everyone has to get along and it's kumbaya and anything like that. It's not. Not at all. Skills. It's choices. It's what I consider to be a really good foundational and starting point for cultivating that penguin huddle, because at the end of the day, we do need each other.

Like, it's not, we cannot survive alone. We cannot make it alone. We also don't wanna be alone like we are a social species. So those are my initial thoughts on it. I would love to hear yours. You wanna text me 3 1 0 7 3 7 2 3 4 5. It'll be green, but it is me. It's a sideline. Uh, you can shoot me a DM at @themovementmaestro, or you can drop a little comment if you're watching this on YouTube. Thank you for watching it if you are.

But those are my thoughts. Mine and mine alone. Would love to hear from you. As always, endlessly, endlessly, endlessly appreciative for every single one of you. Until next time, friends. Ooh, I dunno if you can hear that.

There's a firetruck going by. It's gone. Alright. Until next time, friends, Maestro out.


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